


Sparks Fly

by AndrewJTalon



Category: DC Animated Universe (Timmverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, DCAU Superman, F/M, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Jealous Lois, Tsundere Livewire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndrewJTalon/pseuds/AndrewJTalon
Summary: On the day Superman appears, Leslie Willis, the shock jock Livewire, is saved by a newcomer to Metropolis: Reporter Clark Kent. Rated for language and maybe other adult things.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Leslie Willis, Clark Kent/Lois Lane
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

Riding the Metropolis Rail to work wasn't glamorous, but there were times Leslie just wanted a feeling of normalcy. Of being a working class joe, so to speak. It brought back the memories of her start in the radio industry years ago: When she had to force her way through classes, internships, and crowds. When she had to count every penny and subsist on ramen when things were thin. It gave her a feeling of hunger.

Though maybe not for the ramen.

The sounds of people going to and fro, talking on cellphones or calming their children. A teenaged punk listening to his music too loud. A businessman flipping through his paper. Pigeons chirping and seeking out scraps, while children giggled and chased them around. The honks of traffic and growls of engines in the street below the rail platform. The smell of cheap breakfast burritos sizzling in the early morning sun. Leslie closed her eyes and smiled, letting it wash over.

The pulse of the city. The pulse of Metropolis. It electrified her.

"Now that... That's the stuff," she murmured. A stocky man in a simple coat turned at the sound of her voice. Their eyes met. She pulled down her ballcap, but it was too late: The flash of recognition lit up his eyes, and his leer was almost predatory as he advanced on her.

"Hey! It's Livewire! I'd know that voice anywhere!" The fan was large, stocky, and hairy. He was grinning with an eager, obsessed expression: One that spread to others around the platform. Leslie smiled tightly, as the fan and others moved in.

"Yeah. Look, I gotta get to work and-!"

"I listen to you every day! Can I get an autograph?" The man demanded, advancing on her. Similar requests came from others, and Leslie felt boxed in. She kept up her smile, at least until the man reached out for her hair. She slapped his hand away instinctively, and glared at him. Her patience was now suspended.

"Look pal, I'm not in the mood, so if you'll just back off-!" Leslie shot back.

The man reached for her again, and she slapped him away. He pushed forward, and she went for her mace. His hands landed on her shoulders, and she lashed out with a kick. But her timing was off-As the blow connected with his stomach, his arms spasmed and shoved her. He fell back... And so did she, into the gap above the rails.

She fell, the wind whistling loudly in her ears. She hit the tracks hard, crying out in pain. She heard the loud, piercing train horn, and looked to her right. The gray bulk was closing on her, fast, massive! She took a breath, frozen in shock even as her mind screamed to _move!_ Like a monster, the train roared right for her, horn bellowing with deafening volume as the platform shook and she was _going to die she was dead she was-_

Strong hands seized her and yanked her up into a warm, firm embrace. She clung to whoever it was tightly, shuddering as the mass of the train roared by scant inches away. Her heart beat like a subwoofer, leaving her shaking as she let herself just feel safe.

Safe, long enough to pull herself back together.

Leslie opened her eyes and saw a broad chest in a well tailored white shirt, blue suit jacket, and red tie. She slowly looked up, her eyes meeting kind, deep blue ones staring back. They were covered in round, plain glasses. She felt his heartbeat, slow and strong and reassuring against her hard pounding chest. The man smiled, his lantern jaw clean of any stubble.

"Are you all right?" He asked gently, in a comforting voice. Leslie managed a nod.

"Y-Yeah... Yeah... Thanks," she managed shakily. The man set her down, but her arms didn't part. She got a good look at her hero, and felt herself biting her lower lip.

He was tall, broadshouldered, and tanned: He was clearly a man who knew how to work, and work hard. His hair was black and neatly coiffed, and his suit, while a plain blue, was well pressed. He smelled of the earth, the wind and pure man. His jaw was a broad, strong lantern and made him look like a Greek god, and his eyes...

He cleared his throat, and Leslie became aware of people chattering around them, a police whistle, and the hiss of train brakes. The man smiled at her, and she quickly pulled away. She couldn't look at him all of a sudden.

"Thanks," she managed in a harsher tone. The man nodded.

"Might want to pull your mace sooner, next time," he said. Leslie turned back to him, managing a smirk.

"Or a boot to the balls."

The man chuckled, and nodded. "Would be faster," he admitted. He turned, and Leslie found her voice almost deserting her. She felt like a teenaged girl again, all gooey and weak kneed...

She mentally banished those thoughts, and cleared her throat.

"So uh, got a name, Big Blue?" She asked. He turned to look back at her, hesitating... Then he smiled and shrugged.

"Clark Kent. Out of Smallville," he introduced himself. Leslie smiled back.

"I'll have to remember that," Leslie replied.

* * *

The radio station was abuzz with activity when Leslie entered, her manager Lenny keeping up and still chattering away. As he'd been doing since they'd left the train station.

"Amazing! Some crazed fan almost kills you! We couldn't have planned this better!" Lenny hooted. "I mean, the mania of obsession-How shit the city's police have been-How nobody is safe-It could be ratings gold! Hell, it is ratings gold!"

"I'm okay too, Lenny," Leslie snorted in mild annoyance. Lenny coughed, and rubbed his bald spot as they made their way through the hallway.

"I-I mean that! Of course I mean that!" Lenny insisted. "I'm so glad you're okay! But still! I gotta think about the business when you're fine, right?"

"Yeah, sure," Leslie said, as they got to the sound booth. Lenny gave his client a weird stare, and Leslie returned it with a glare. "Something wrong?" She demanded.

"Nothing! Just..." Lenny paused. "You... You sure you're okay? You look out of it."

Leslie shrugged. "I'm uh... I'm fine," she said. "Just fine."

She went into the sound booth, and sat down in her chair. She ran through the set up, Holly, her engineer, setting things up just the way she liked it. Finally satisfied, Leslie nodded and began the radio show start. She sucked in her breath and summoned up her anger, the caustic bile that made her who she was.

"Hello Metropolis, this is Livewire: Coming to you live from Swan Tower in the pulsing heart of the city!" She leaned back, adjusting her headphones a bit. She glanced through her script. "As you may or may not be aware, Wireheads, this morning a fan of mine came up and got way too friendly. Friendly as in shoving me onto the railway tracks. Just when the train was about to run me over! Ha, I thought my number was up for sure!"

She glanced through her notes. Lenny had put together a few key talking points to build off of, mainly concerning the poor state of police work in Metropolis, the craziness of the citizens... And kind eyes through circular glasses flashed through her mind.

"I uh... You wouldn't have been hearing from yours truly without the efforts of a newbie in town," she began. She saw Lenny glance at his script, and then up at her, in confusion. She ignored it, and pressed on. "I'm not going to reveal his name: No need to go after him. But he definitely knows who he is. Let's just call this guy... Smallville, shall we? Yeah. Anyway, while everyone else was screaming or standing around like extras in some Godzilla movie, this guy swoops down and yanks me out of trouble. Didn't even know who I was! Didn't ask for anything in return! And he just went on his way." Leslie took another deep breath, and allowed her smile to come through her words.

"Sometimes it's nice to know not everyone in this city of the future is some goddamned idiot. A little hope for the rest of us."

She paused a bit. She saw Lenny gaping in disbelief. Leslie shook her head again, and took another deep breath. She summoned up her rancor.

"Yeah, this guy Smallville-He had to do the work of the police! One man got involved and did something that wasn't his job! But a bunch of fat pigs chomping down donuts on our dime couldn't be bothered to do anything but ask me questions after I'd nearly been run over! What a joke!"

The bile came naturally, and Lenny finally looked like he was settled down. Leslie found herself back in the groove, belting out her anger and mockery with her cocky smirk, enjoying the hornet's nest she'd no doubt stirred up. It was what she did, after all. She was Livewire.

Yet the tall friendly man still stuck in her mind. And she found herself thinking about him a lot for the next week.

Even after an alien in a blue suit and red underoos showed up...

* * *

_Thinking of expanding this out into an actual story, and exploring another very strange crack pairing. Hope you're interested, too._


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't like Leslie didn't appreciate the magnitude of Superman's appearance. Far from it: She had months worth of material to work with. Letting people call in to talk about what they thought of the appearance of the Man of Steel.  
  
Like this little old lady who was happily chattering away about the good old days of World War II and the old superheroes back then.  
  
" _The Blackhawks were all so handsome! Especially that Olaf, what a dream! Gotta say, I spent many a night sitting on the conveyor belt engine to sooth my womanly aches, don't you know...!"_  
  
One who was, quite frankly, like a train wreck: Someone Leslie desperately wanted to stop listening to, but couldn't.  
  
"Uh huh," Leslie managed.  
  
" _And that Spysmasher and Uncle Sam! Oh! I had a few group sessions with Mabel on the turbines when they were out of synch! Course, they nearly gave out but the vibrations also had some shocks which-"_  
  
"Annnnd I'll let you save the rest of that for Penthouse. An ancient Penthouse," Leslie said. "Bye!" She switched to another caller. "Caller, you're on the air. Tell me you're not a horny old lady."  
  
" _Would that help?"_ Asked the man on the other side of the line. Leslie rolled her eyes, but the ratings (according to Lenny's happy gesticulations) seemed to be gold. So she continued.  
  
"Maybe I should start advertising for turbines," she said dryly. "Anyway, you sound old."  
  
" _That's cause I am. Veteran of the Second World World, Sgt Franklin Rock, miss,"_ he replied.  
  
"You want the number of the last lady? Because you might be her type," Leslie snarked. The old man chuckled.  
  
" _Nope. Just wanted to say, Superman is all right by me. It's nice to see an old fashioned hero in a cape out and about, doing what needs to be done."_  
  
"Even if he's an alien?" Leslie said wryly. "He might be some kind of squid creature in a human suit, just waiting to find some innocent women to knock her up with chestbursters."  
  
"... _And you cut off the last caller?"_ The old man said dryly. " _Seems like you could use a turbine yourself, young lady."_  
  
"I do the jokes, Grandpa," Leslie replied, smirking a bit. She found herself liking the old guy. "Anyway, the capes back in the 40s were all normal men and women... Well Uncle Sam might have been magic. That's always been ambiguous. Now we have some kind of super powered alien flying around, doing interviews, fighting robots. He seems good- _Too good to be true._ And that's the thing: No matter how good someone might seem, they've got their own dark side! The brighter the picture, the darker the negative."  
  
" _I don't disagree he's probably not perfect,"_ the old man said. " _Ain't nobody who is. But if you had that much power, what good would it do to rule the world? You're already so strong... So why not help the world?"_  
  
"Men with power always want more," Leslie replied. "It's the same story for every human being on the planet. What makes you think he won't turn on us? He basically has the Daily Planet as his own PR firm!"  
  
" _My generation was facing the greatest threat the world has ever known,"_ Sgt. Rock said, " _And we weren't even half as cynical as you kids."_  
  
Leslie snorted. "No disrespect, Gramps, but your generation raised the Baby Boomers. Fat lot of good _that_ did the world."  
  
" _Everyone makes mistakes,"_ Rock replied. Leslie snickered. It was rare she got two such entertaining callers in a row.  
  
"Well at least you admit it. That's all the time we have for tonight, Wireheads! Now keep your eyes open. Sure, it's nice to have a cape around but we've seen plenty of good... And bad ones too. Guess we'll be seeing if Superman is a time bomb. Tune in tomorrow, same channel, at WMTS Swan Tower for LIVEWIRE! Signing off!"  
  
The lights went out, and she pulled her headphones off. She sighed, and rubbed her temples as she pushed her glasses up. Lenny walked into the soundbooth with a grin.  
  
"Ratings gold, Leslie! We're looking great! Almost 130% more listeners when you got onto the topic of Superman!"  
  
Leslie groaned. "I'm not gonna have to talk to more horny old women, am I?"  
  
"That was hilarious," Lenny said cheerfully. An intern was still looking green in the back office. Leslie snickered-It was still funny, yeah. With some distance.  
  
And speaking of which...  
  
"I'm getting some coffee," she said. She stood up and set her headphones down on her desk. "Feel free to grab more literature on Spy Smasher and Uncle Sam for next time."  
  
"Absolutely!" Lenny said happily. "We can totally-!"  
  
 _"Non-erotic,_ " she emphasized as she leaned back in through the open door. Lenny huffed.  
  
"Howard Stern had a topless chick catching hotdogs in her mouth!"  
  
"It's fucking radio!" Leslie exclaimed, rolling her eyes as she headed out. She went down the stairs, out the tower, and right across the street to her favorite coffee shop in walking distance. It was called Eisner's, and it was mercifully empty. She slammed down her cash and smiled at the tattooed barista.  
  
"Double espresso latte, half decaf, medium foam, with a dusting of Dutch chocolate," she ordered. The barista nodded, and turned to the coffee machines. She sighed and leaned back, stretching her arms up over her head. Leslie felt her neck pop, and smiled. That felt very good.  
  
"Here you go," the barista said, handing over the latte. Leslie beamed, her precious how within reach. She turned... And slammed right into a large, tall man. Her balance was lost, and she fell backwards.  
  
"Holy fuc-!"  
  
And strong arms were now around her. She looked up, in shock... And recognition.  
  
"Kent?" She asked. Clark raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Trouble with balance, Miss Willis?" He asked. Leslie managed to control her blush, and smirked back.  
  
"Maybe I'm just giving my listeners what they want," she said. "You seem to like holding women in your arms."  
  
Clark quickly got her up to her feet, and let her go. She was gratified to see he adjusted his necktie with a mild blush. Leslie smirked, holding her latte between her hands.  
  
"So... What brings you into the coffee shop?"  
  
 _Stupid!_ Her brain immediately bellowed at her. Clark smiled back and shrugged.  
  
"Just some coffee. We're on the trail of an interesting case," he said. Leslie raised an eyebrow.  
  
"A case? You're a PI?"  
  
"No," Clark said, adjusting his glasses, "a reporter."  
  
Leslie smiled. "Really? A guy built like you?"  
  
Clark returned the smile, clearly liking it. And Leslie liked it too. More than she would admit, of course.  
  
"I like to use my brain a bit more than my fists," he admitted. Leslie hummed, and took hold of his hand. She turned it over and studied his fingertips.  
  
"You? With those calluses?" She asked. "Let me guess, grew up on a farm? Up at the crack of dawn to milk the cows?"  
  
"Actually, yes," Clark said with a smile, gently pulling his hand away. Leslie raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Wow, I wasn't even serious. Nice to know my observational skills are still intact," she replied. Clark nodded. She sucked in a deep breath.  
  
"So... I mean, a farm. What's that like?" She asked. Clark shrugged back, sipping his coffee.  
  
"There's... Not much to tell," he said. Leslie let herself grin, and stepped closer.  
  
"Oh, _now_ I'm gonna have to wheedle it out of you," she said. "Like, say, over a coffee-?"  
  
"Hey Smallville!" A woman's voice broke between them. Leslie looked over, and saw... Lois Lane? Of all people?  
  
Lois glared. "We're on the clock, hayseed. Come on, don't you farm boys know the value of time?"  
  
Clark gave Lois a friendly, if somewhat indulgent smile. "We also know the value of manners," he teased back. He nodded to Leslie. "Lois Lane, Leslie Willis. Leslie Willis, Lois Lane."  
  
"Yeah, I'm familiar," Leslie said dryly. Lois raised her own elegant eyebrow.  
  
"Same here," she said coolly. The two women sized each other up. Lois in particular looked intently at the distance between them. The female reporter snorted.  
  
"I didn't know you two were... _Friends,"_ Lois said dryly. Leslie scooted up against Clark, pressing her shoulder against his.  
  
"Yeah. He saved my life," Leslie said. "No superpowers required."  
  
"Well... Good for both of you," Lois said tightly. "If you're done flirting with the shock jock, Smallville, shall we get going? We've got a job to do." She glanced at Leslie. "Unless you'd like to ask Willis to the farmhouse hoe down? I can get the scoop, you get disappointed at the end of the night."  
  
"Let's go," Clark said. He gave Leslie a smile. "I'll see you around, Miss Willis."  
  
"Leslie," she insisted. "It's what I want _friends_ to call me." She smiled with a bit of warmth in her eyes. Clark smiled back, the same warmth in his.  
  
"Leslie then," he said.  
  
"Come on!" Lane stated, taking Clark's arm and practically dragging him out the front doors of the coffee shop. Leslie watched them go, her coffee cooling in her tightening hands.  
  
... _Smallville's_ my _nickname for him, you hag,_ she thought.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

\- - -

Metro-Con was one of the biggest pop culture related events in the North East, growing from a small one room convention in the 1960s into the Ordway Convention Center’s fifty thousand people capacity. The huge facility was filled to bursting with vendors, cosplayers, writers, artists, radio jockeys and families just out to join the fun.

Leslie Willis was standing at a comic book booth, flipping through the longbox for anything interesting. She sighed, making a face at the selection.

“Well, looks like the comic industry is burning itself to the ground,” Leslie huffed. “Even I feel like it would be mean to pick on them.”

“Tell me about it,” the booth tender sighed, an old man with a bushy beard and a US Navy cap. “Manga’s been the only thing that’s been selling. Only thing worth reading, too.” He smiled. “Then again, with Superman around, maybe that’ll change!”

Leslie snorted. “Savior of the comic book industry? That’ll be the day,” she scoffed.

“Hm?”

Leslie tensed up, the voice familiar. She turned her head, and saw the tall, broad shouldered form of Clark Kent. He was in his usual blue suit and red tie, a con badge attached to his lapel. Leslie’s jaw dropped. Clark looked her up and down briefly, and he blushed slightly.

“Ah… Hello again, Miss Ellis,” he said. His brief embarrassment centered Leslie, as she raised an eyebrow.

“Thought I told you to call me ‘Leslie’,” she said.

Her Sailor Jupiter costume was skin tight, hugging every inch of her body. Her short green skirt shuffled a bit as she rested a hand on her hip.

“Also, how could you tell it was me?” She gestured to her brown wig that was perfectly fitted, tied in the proper ponytail behind the tiara her brow bore. Her glasses were gone, her pupils green thanks to her contacts.

“What, do you have X-Ray Vision?” She asked mockingly, stamping one of her green booted feet. Clark coughed, and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Uh no! I just recognized your, uh…”

Leslie’s eyebrows rose… Then she smirked saucily.

“You recognized my rack, didn’t you?” She gestured to her sizable bosom. She wasn’t some wispy stick figure like Darby: She was compact, but had thick curves from working out and her mom’s genetics. With strong, well formed legs.

Much to her surprise, Clark looked right at her. His eyes locking onto hers. He gave her a small, honest smile.

“Uh… Sure,” he said. Leslie, impressed, smiled a bit more genuinely at the reporter.

“Nice,” she said, resisting the urge to preen in front of him. She shook her head. They began walking away from the booth, into the stream of chattering con goers. Leslie kept pace easily, and stayed close to his tall form.

“So! You get demoted or something? Don’t you usually cover political scandals and crimes?” Leslie asked curiously.

Clark smiled back at her, shrugging a bit. “Reporting on some fluff is good from time to time. It lets me learn more about this city and its inhabitants. Speaking of, Sailor Jupiter? A Defender of Justice?”

Leslie chuckled. “Did you check that on Wikipedia?”

“No,” Clark said.

“Well now I’m a little more impressed,” she said. “I didn’t think they had anime out in Smallville.”

Clark smiled wryly. “You’d be surprised,” he answered, “but you? The cynical, hard hitting shock jockey?”

They strayed into the video game alley, where numerous indie game developers plied their wares alongside booths from bigger game developers. In the center, there was a retro-style arcade set up with dozens of old style video game cabinets.

Leslie shrugged, feeling a bit shy as she looked ahead.

“Well,” she said, “my mom worked at a used book, video and CD store. The manager let me stay there, pretty much from when I was born. I grew up on shelves of old comics, manga, and a lot of bad movies.” She smiled with a bit of wistfulness.

“He’d take us to this convention and others to make more money, and I helped out. Even worked as a booth babe when these,” she gestured to her body, and mentally enjoyed Clark’s slight flush, “came in. It’s a lot of fun, pretending to be someone else with a lot of other nerds.”

Clark smiled gently. “It is nice to be able to blend into a crowd,” he said, and she got the feeling that he really, truly understood. She shook her head, her defenses coming back online.

“So,” Leslie said, stopping Clark with her gloved hand against his broad chest, “I’m not going to see any of this in the Daily Planet, right?”

Clark shook his head, his face earnest. “No,” he said, “after all, we’re friends. And I want things to stay that way.”

Leslie grinned. “Good,” she said. A loud cheer erupted from a small crowd, and they both looked over at the source: A group of various people around a brightly glowing videogame console. It was blaring loud Japanese pop music, as two players danced frantically on brightly glowing keypad platforms. She snorted, crossing her arms under her chest.

“Dance Dance Revolution,” she laughed. “God, that corny thing is still around. Makes me feel old.”

“Your store had one, didn’t it? One you used all the time,” Clark asked, smiling warmly. Leslie huffed a bit, and looked aside. He was sharp, damnit. It made her heart beat faster.

“Yeah,” she said. “I couldn’t afford to go to the gym until after college, so that was good exercise! Even nerds needed to get some cardio.” She smirked. “It’s a lot less boring that running through tires or whatever you did, Mister National High School Championships.”

“How did-?” Clark started, and Leslie’s grin grew.

“You’re not the only one who can investigate people,” she pointed out. Clark relaxed a bit, and smiled back.

“Well… I like to think it was a bit more effective at developing reflexes,” he replied. Leslie raised her eyebrows and chuckled.

“Oh ho?” Leslie asked. “Sounds like a challenge.”

“Does it?” Clark replied. “I thought it was corny?”

Leslie grabbed his forearm, and inwardly was very pleased when he leaned in a bit.

“I’ve got a farmboy with me, corny works,” she insisted. “Now come on: I’m going to kick your ass and you’re going to enjoy it!”

Clark smirked slightly as he let Leslie pull him along to the machine. “You’re the boss,” he said.

"You're damn right," Leslie chuckled, "I'm the Goddess of Thunder! You'd better remember that!"

\- - -


	4. Chapter 4

Leslie was reviewing the Daily Planet's website in her office. Kent had written an in-depth article on S.T.A.R. Labs working with Superman and using his spaceship to research things in space. Despite her not really having that much interest in such subjects, Clark's writing really caught her attention and kept her engaged throughout the entire text.

The detail he put into it, the passion… It was like you were right there with him.

The door opened, and Lenny walked in. "Hey, Leslie! Babe!"

"Lenny," Leslie acknowledged, her eyes still on the article. Lenny hummed awkwardly, and tapped his fingers on the desk.

"You're spending a lot of time on keeping up with this Kent guy, you know?" Lenny interjected, as Leslie finished the article. She looked up, her eyes narrowed.

"And?" She asked dangerously. "Your point is?"

Lenny gulped, and rubbed his balding head nervously. "W-Well… I mean, is this… A professional interest? Or…?"

"It's none of your business, that's what," Leslie growled. Lenny shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. He was leaning against the desk, looking thoughtful. Or at least trying, it was Lenny after all.

"Well, I'm just saying, if you want some paparazzi attention-"

Leslie glared angrily at Lenny. "I _don't,"_ she stated. Lenny immediately stopped leaning against the desk, and held his hands up in appeasement.

"Okay! Okay, works for me," he said quickly. "Whatever you want, babe."

Leslie turned back to her computer, and hummed. "Anyway, what's the next event for today?" She asked. Lenny checked his phone.

"Ah… We're going to be at the street festival on Siegel street," he said. Leslie nodded, and slowly rose up. She pulled on her leather jacket.

"Let's get going then," she stated.

She led the way, letting Lenny keep up like the annoying yappy dog he was. He kept up an annoying commentary the whole time, one she worked to ignore in the limo. At last they made it to the street festival: The main thoroughfare in Metropolis, absolutely filled with booths, food trucks and people of every kind just enjoying the warm weather.

With a few bodyguards, she made it through the crowds to her booth, and set up. The din of the crowds was muted as she donned her headphones. She started up.

"Hello Metropolis, this is Livewire: Coming to you live from the Spring Break Street Festival on Siegel Street! The beating heart of the city that's a shock to your system!" She leaned back, smirking a bit as she got into her groove. "And first up: The new Big Blue Boyscout in town has been at it again. Lois Lane sure has a way of getting the scoop on the resident alien fast, doesn't she? She does have a thing for powerful men: Maybe she just wanted one with hair."

Oh that was cruel, but it felt good to say it. Not that she hadn't been saying similar things lately. She took a deep breath… And then the entire street shook, like an earthquake erupting underneath their feet. Leslie was sent to the ground, as people screamed and ran in a panicked rush. She pulled herself to her feet, as Lenny cowered under the desk.

She looked up: The First Bank of Metropolis was across the boulevard. The doors had been ripped apart. A tall, built pink and purple man flew out of it, carrying an armored car. He was cackling loudly as he flew by, thousands of dollars raining from the car's open doors onto the shrieking multitudes.

A few cops took gunshots at him, and he turned. His eyes flashed with red light, and the street erupted into a fiery explosion. Leslie fell again, slamming into the pavement. The demonic being flew away into the sky, his laughter fading away into nothing. Leaving only chaos and screams.

Leslie adjusted her headset, breathing hard. "Ladies and gentlemen… Of Metropolis… I think we have a problem…"

* * *

Yeah. It was a major problem. Some purple guy calling himself the Parasite claimed to have stolen Superman's powers, and was now running amok with them. Superman was missing, and that seemed to back up the Parasite's claims. The city was panicking, desperate to find Superman.

Yet there was something everyone seemed to overlook. Or rather, someone.

"So yeah, everyone," Leslie said over the radio back in Swan tower, leaning back a bit in her chair, "if you thought things were already weird, well… You were dead wrong. Superpowered aliens fighting bizarre mutants? Did the universe suddenly turn into a shonen anime? Soon we'll have aliens flying down to gather our dragonballs. If we have any-We might. Who knows?"

She began tapping her pencil against the desk hard. She sucked in a deep breath.

"Also, it figures that with the city running around like a chicken with its head cut off over Big Blue missing, they forgot non-superpowered people. One Clark Kent, that nerdy news reporter from the Daily Planet, has gone missing. Don't see anyone looking for that guy, do you? I don't," Leslie snorted. "Maybe he should have had superpowers for the city to care. Then again they do have their hands full with Parasite. What the hell kind of name is that for a bad guy? Might as well call yourself the Leech or the Mosquito."

The phone console lit up. She reached out and answered.

"Caller, you're on the air," Leslie said.

" _Livewire, what makes you think some reporter is more important than some guy who has literally stolen the powers of the most powerful being on the planet?"_ The woman demanded. " _That freak was some S.T.A.R. Labs flunkie, and he got turned into that monster! He could destroy the world!"_

Leslie snorted. "So far the guy's being more of a pest than a straight up destroyer of worlds. A guy who calls himself the Parasite doesn't seem very ambitious. The fact he's just robbing banks and art and other typical 'supervillain' stuff means he doesn't really get what he has." Leslie said. The caller sputtered.

" _But-But Superman! Without him, how will we survive?!"_

"The human race has done pretty well without him up till now," Leslie argued. "You think we need a big blue super babysitter? That we're a bunch of ants in a bottle for him to take care of?"

" _That's not how he sees us!"_ The caller argued. Leslie smirked.

"Oh? So what, you know him personally?"

" _Well, I-no! But I know he's not a monster! Not like this guy!"_

"Well, he sure looks like a monster," Leslie admitted. "A giant Purple People Eater. Apparently he was some low level janitor or something at S.T.A.R. Labs. You'd think a guy around the latest cutting edge technology in the world would have more ambitions than…"

Her voice trailed off as her thoughts went into overdrive.

_Clark Kent was close with S.T.A.R. Labs. The Parasite guy, Rudy Jones, was a janitor at S.T.A.R. Labs who would know everywhere to hide… If he stole Superman's powers, he'd keep Superman somewhere, locked up…_

" _He's some kind of freak and monster who will devour us all! And nobody's going to stop him! He's bulletproof after all! What are we going to do? What are we going to do?! He might declare himself the Super Pope or something-!"_

"Yeah, that's great lady," Leslie stated. "Well, that's all for today's show-Metropolis is still in the grips of a purple monster and we'll all have to pull through this-Together!" She pulled her headset off and set it down. She turned off the mike. She headed for the door, even as Lenny rose up to try and get in her way.

"Leslie, what are you doing?!" He cried. "We've still got an hour to-!"

"If I don't come back in two hours, call the police and tell them to get to S.T.A.R. Labs," she ordered. Lenny's eyes bugged out.

"Wha-?"

"JUST DO IT!" Leslie shouted, grabbing her jacket and running for the elevator. Okay, it was a long shot but… If Superman was being held prisoner at S.T.A.R. Labs, she could get him out. And if he was out, he could find Clark Kent.

It was crazy, sure. But it looked like until the Big Blue Boyscout was back in the spotlight, her… _reporter_ friend was going to still be missing.

* * *

It was no wonder that S.T.A.R. Labs were having so much trouble with keeping their super advanced crap safe: Leslie's experiences as a juvenile delinquent got her in with just a crowbar and a lock pick.

Okay, she'd gotten in with her press pass first, but honestly-Not even an escort? Or a pat down? She'd _snuck a crowbar in!_

A small one, sure, but still!

She went down the stairs into the basement of the labs, a dark, smelly labyrinth of metallic pipes, generators and boilers. The constant sounds of pumping fluids and whirring motors was almost deafening. She grimaced and pulled out her phone, switching on the flashlight. She almost wished she hadn't.

"Gross," she muttered, as she saw the grime and rust on everything. "How did this Jones guy not get fired?"

She wandered through the maze, scanning with her cell phone flashlight. There was dust all over, and she wrinkled her nose. Yeah, this was absolutely disgusting. The only clean path was one where the dust had been pushed aside towards a closet: Like someone had run a wide push broom across the floor… And the machinery… And the wall-

"Well, shit," Leslie muttered. She walked down, her boots making soft sounds amidst the din of machinery. She opened the door, and peered into the small closet. It was full of cleaning supplies, junk… And one groaning man in blue, wearing a red cape, tied up to a pipe. A bright red and yellow 'S' was emblazoned across his broad chest. He looked up, his eyes widening when he caught sight of her.

"Huh? Leslie Willis?" Superman murmured. Leslie started, her heart pounding.

She'd never actually… Seen him this close. He was chiseled and trim, and had a lantern-shaped jaw. He was handsome, she supposed, but he lacked that bookish charm that Clark-That guys she liked had.

"Well," she said, looking more confident than she felt, "I guess Big Boy Blue did get brought down by the Big Purple People Eater."

The superhero shook his head rapidly, a worried look on his face.

"You need to get out of here," he insisted, "he might come back any minute-"

Leslie ignored him, immediately pulling her crowbar out of her pants and kneeling next to him. She held up her phone to examine the chains, and the pipe. She stuck the crowbar in hard, and began pulling with a grunt. Superman shook his head.

"I told you-!" He began, but Leslie snorted.

"Listen, I wouldn't have listened to my dad if he'd stuck around so I'm not listening to you! Besides, as much as I hate to say it, I need you," she said. She grumbled as she adjusted her grip, and pulled harder. The pipe didn't budge much, but the chains were! "So does Metropolis, I guess."

"Huh?" Superman asked. Leslie sighed angrily.

"For someone 'faster than a speeding bullet' you sure are damn slow," she growled. "A man named Clark Kent went missing when you started dominating all the headlines! Nngh!" The pipe groaned, and Leslie leaned back to put more weight on the crowbar. "Gnngh! I want you to find him! Because maybe the city only cares about Superman, but _I_ care about him!"

Superman stared intently at her. "You do?" He asked quietly. Leslie felt a blush erupt over her cheeks, and she looked back at the pipe.

"As... Ya know, the voice of the underdog!" She insisted. "You're supposed to be a hero, right? Try to save everyone, no matter what?"

Superman was silent for a time. He then slowly nodded, a wry smile on his face.

"I remember him-Tall guy, blue suit, glasses?"

Leslie nodded. "Yes!"

"I think Parasite might have locked him up somewhere else," he said. "He was snooping around and got caught. Get me to sunlight and we'll find him."

Hope surged in her chest. She felt a genuine smile come over her face, but she kept it nice and cocky. She put her full weight into the crowbar, and the chains snapped with loud clinks! She fell back onto her bottom, letting out a grunt. Superman stood up, flexing and stretching. He reached out his hand to Leslie. She stared at it, and slowly took it. She let him pull her up, and brushed the dust off her pants.

"Well, let's get going then," she said. "And don't forget! We're saving Clark Kent!"

"With you leading the charge? I think he'll be just fine," Superman said with a small laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leslie demanded. The alien just shrugged.

"Take it as a compliment."

* * *

Five minutes of struggle had gotten them… To a boiler a few feet away from the cleaning supplies closet. Leslie groaned under the weight of the big superhero, who was still unsteady on his feet. The shock jock glared up at Superman.

"Strongest man in the world and he can't even stay on his feet?" Leslie mocked. Superman sighed.

"He has been draining my powers," Superman said. "It's like you being drained of blood."

"And I thought vampires couldn't get any worse after _Twilight,"_ Leslie muttered. Superman laughed softly.

"I have wondered what would happen if a vampire did bite me," he said. Leslie groaned and pushed him back up to his feet. He tottered, but was moving. And so was Leslie.

"And?" Leslie asked, managing their steps as carefully as she could in the thick dust. She really should have brought an actual flashlight, damnit.

"If they were strong enough to punch through my skin, the solar energy in my body would probably instantly kill them," Superman mused. "Make it pretty easy, I suppose. In this case though, Parasite is kind of like those Chinese vampires who just fed on energy. So it doesn't matter."

"Do you just think about stuff like this all the time?" Leslie demanded. Superman shrugged.

"I've had a lot of time to think," he said. "Being locked up and all."

"Maybe you should think _more_ about crap like this," Leslie grunted. They passed a wall, and entered an area primarily filled with old junk in boxes. "That way, your stupid fat super ass won't have to be saved by shock jocks. You realize I ran out in the middle of a show, right? This could cost me half of my sponsors!"

Superman chuckled a bit. "Well, if we get out of here, I guess I'll owe you an interview."

"Don't tell me Lane had to save your life to get that," Leslie snorted. They came to the foot of some stairs. Superman smiled.

"Maybe I bring out the best in people," he said. "That's what I'd like to think."

Leslie groaned, reaching for the stair railing. Superman grabbed the other railing, and they slowly shuffled to the first step.

"Right now, all you're bringing out of me is that I need to hit the gym more often," she grumbled. "All right, come on! One step at a time!"

* * *

They made progress-Painfully slow progress. But they rose above the clamor and cacophony of the basement machines. They made it to the door, and Leslie clumsily yanked on the handle. The door swung open, and the faint light of computers and workstations washed over them. They had ended up in a small, deserted office. There were two doors; one far away from them on the other side of a lot of tables filled with equipment, and the other to the side. Leslie groaned.

"Damnit… Which way?"

"I'm thinking," Superman said. He looked to a nearby side door in the room, closest to them. "My super senses are starting to come back. I can hear…" His eyes widened. "Oh no!"

The far door opened… And the tall, purple form of the Parasite floated in, smirking through his distorted mask-like face.

"Those super senses do come in handy, don't they Superman?" The Parasite asked mockingly. "Oh, and who is this? Nice piece, Superman. You really are a chick magnet, aren't you?"

Leslie snarled. "Like I'd ever like HIM!" She shouted. "You must be dumber than you look!"

The Parasite laughed. "And feisty too!" He cackled. "You get all sorts! But I'm going to have to ask you to give my meal back to me now."

"The powers you steal last about twenty-four hours," Superman said. "You really think you can keep doing this? Just hiding me, feeding on me? Think, Rudy! This can't last!"

"For the first time in my life," Parasite seethed, "I'm _somebody!_ I'm the guy who took down Superman! The _real_ Superman!" He grinned. "And _nobody's_ taking it from me!"

This was not going to end well. And Leslie knew this from making a lifetime of stupid decisions.

So, might as well stay consistent. Make one more bad decision.

Leslie pulled away from Superman, a step back away from the big blue-suited alien… And then shoved him as hard as she could towards the door. She pulled out her crowbar and pointed it at the Parasite.

"Look, just get to sunlight and find Clark you big oaf!" Leslie shouted. "GO!"

Superman stared at her. Parasite began laughing uproariously, still floating. He grabbed one of the tables, and flipped it over-Sending it smashing through the wall and making the entire floor rumble. It went right through another wall, too, opening a room full of vaults.

Leslie was barely able to stay on her feet, but she managed.

"Feisty, but not smart!" Parasite laughed. "Come on babe, what do you think you're going to do to me?"

Leslie threw the crowbar as her answer. Parasite merely caught it, and crushed it between his hands like it was made of matchsticks. Leslie gulped, but she was used to projecting confidence when she didn't have even a drop of the genuine thing inside.

"That was a warning shot! Next one's really gonna hurt!" She blustered.

"That's adorable," Parasite cooed. He _blurred,_ and in an instant he had her by her shirt, lifting her up like she was nothing! Her eyes bugged out as her hands instinctively rose up to beat on his stone-like grip. It was no use though-He didn't budge, not even a little. He kept laughing, and shook his head.

"Well well… Thought I recognized that voice! Leslie Willis! The shock jock!" He grinned and tilted his head. "Called me 'The Big Purple People Eater?' That reference is so _old!_ "

He tossed Leslie into the wall, and she cried out in pain as she fell onto the floor in a heap. She groaned in the pain as Parasite floated over her. He smirked down, like an arrogant god.

"You know, it figures. He has a thing for women with 'L' names," he said, nodding over at Superman. Leslie sneered up at the supervillain.

"He's not my type!" She spat. The Parasite just laughed hard, like there was a joke he and Superman were aware of but Leslie wasn't. That just pissed her off more.

"That's hilarious. Wish I knew why. It's why I need another meal of Superman to remember... But you'll be a nice appetizer." He reached out for her, and Leslie shut her eyes tightly.

"HEY! Rudy!" Superman shouted. "You want your meal, right? Why settle for her, when you've got me?"

The Parasite paused, and looked over at Superman. He was leaning against what was left of the wall, his fists clenched tightly. Parasite smirked and wagged his finger at the alien.

"Always have to play the hero, don't you?" He asked mockingly. He shrugged. "Suit yourself!" He blurred again, charging for Superman… And Superman raised his now open palm. A bit of green was in it, and the Parasite's fingers brushed against it.

"What the-AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!" Green energy crackled and sparked all over the purple form of the entity, and he shook like he was having a stroke. The Parasite fell back, smashing into the floor with wide, blank eyes. Leslie coughed, and rubbed her throat. Superman looked pale, and tossed the green stone at her. She instinctively caught it.

"What the hell was that?" She asked.

"Kryptonite," he managed weakly. "It's radiation… Poisons me. Put it back in the vault. Quickly…"

Leslie blinked, and looked back at the vault room. She shook her head.

"Either you're smart or he was just the dumbest motherfucker ever," she decided. She managed to get up to her feet, and stumbled over to the vault. She found the open one, dropped the rock into it, and shoved it closed. The moment the little door clicked shut, Superman looked a hell of a lot better.

Superman smiled at her. "Thank you," he said. "I owe you one."

"Just," Leslie tried, "just find me Kent, all right?" She paused. "And maybe an interview."

Superman smiled. "It's a deal. Just get me to sunlight."

Fortunately, all the commotion soon brought scientists and security guards. And two of them carried Superman to the main laboratory, which had hundreds of windows that let the full force of the sun fall upon him. Leslie followed as well, as police officers quickly put the unconscious Parasite into a high capacity containment cell. Looked like a coffin, really, but Leslie wasn't complaining. Nor did she really care.

She walked up to Superman, who had been standing in the sunlight for several minutes. "Well?!" She demanded.

Superman sucked in a deep breath. "I can see him," he said. "He's in another boiler room-Near where mine was, actually." He smiled at her. "He's alive and all right… If very dirty."

The insane tension and fear that had been driving Leslie dissipated. She swallowed her pride, and nodded.

"I… Thank you," she said. Superman smiled back.

"Thank you," he said kindly. He flew off through an open window, and Leslie was turning and running.

"GET SOME PARAMEDICS IN HERE!" She screamed at the police as she raced for the basement door. She threw it open, her cellphone light on bright. She flew down the stairs and followed the footprints in the dust, cops and others right behind her. She ran past the open door to the cleaning supplies room, and found another door whose dust had been recently disturbed. She yanked on the door handle, trying to force it open. A guard stepped up, and she moved aside as he unlocked it. Leslie then grabbed the handle, and yanked the door open.

"Clark?!"

There he was. He was chained to a pipe, his suit rumpled and dirty. He looked sick and exhausted, and his glasses were filthy-But the smile on his face when he saw her was inspiring. Clark Kent looked up at her, as she fell down to her knee to check on him.

"Leslie," he gasped. "You found me! What hap-MMPH?!"

And… And now she was kissing him. Yes, her lips were on his, her arms were wrapped tightly around his shoulders, her tongue was trying to break into his mouth-The whole nine yards. She broke the kiss, panting and blushing hard. His own face was red, underneath the grime, sweat and bits of stubble.

"Ah… I… You're okay," Leslie managed. Clark nodded, his glasses askew.

"I am now," he said with a smile. Leslie pulled back, letting the paramedics do their thing, and trying very hard not to look anyone in the eyes.

She went with him to S.T.A.R. Lab's internal clinic, where the doctors looked him over. Pronouncing him fine, Leslie hung around trying not to look worried.

Great. Her entire personal life was going to be on social media in moments, and the tabloids a few minutes after that. She couldn't believe she'd gone so far, just for some guy she barely knew…!

"Leslie?"

She looked up, and over at Clark. He was smiling at her. She hesitantly walked up, as the nurse who had tended him looked away with a knowing smile. Leslie forced her face into a glare.

"You... You're an asshole! And a stupid bastard!"

Clark blinked a few times, his smile unchanging.

"Uh... Huh?"

She shoved her finger into his chest, poking him as hard as she could. He winced satisfyingly.

"Running off and getting caught snooping around a supervillain's lair?! What the hell were you thinking?!" She demanded. Clark shrugged with a little smile.

"That I beat Lois to a scoop?" He asked. "I mean, it is my job after all."

Leslie groaned. "You are crazy, you know that?"

Clark chuckled and shrugged. "Maybe a little. Then again," he gave her a smile, "I heard you acted rather crazy yourself."

"Yeah… Well…" Leslie glanced aside. "I was… Returning the favor. Standing up for the little guy, you know? The whole city lost its mind over losing Superman, but nobody cared about you."

"Except you," Clark pointed out. Leslie shrugged, her cheeks burning brighter.

"Yeah… Maybe a little," she admitted. She looked back at him. "You know, Lois Lane's saved Superman once."

Clark raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really?" He asked. Leslie nodded.

"Yeah. The jerk thought he brought out the best in people. The ego on that guy, right?" She smiled at Clark. Clark nodded back.

"I think you found it yourself," he said. Leslie smiled.

"... This is the part where you ask me out, you know," she said. "I mean, I saved you. I may have wrecked my own show. For you. Least you can do is take me to dinner."

Clark chuckled softly. "You sure went to a lot of trouble to get a date with me."

"Well, that just means you'll make it special," Leslie smirked back.

The door burst open. Lois Lane rushed in, closely followed by Lenny (who was favoring his left side, like someone had elbowed him in the gut). Lois' eyes widened.

"Smallville! You look terrible!" Lois cried. Clark shrugged.

"So I've been told," he said.

"Leslie! You crazy broad!" Lenny gasped. "Our ratings dropped like a stone! We might be ruined!"

Leslie shrugged, feeling quite confident all of a sudden. "Yeah, well," Leslie began, "we'll make it up with an interview with Superman."

"Wha…?" Lenny managed, as Lois's eyes narrowed. Leslie grinned, stepping closer to Clark.

"What can I say? Sometimes you gotta be crazy to get the win…"

His knowing smile just made her own widen.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

\- - -

Miserable, wet, humiliated, and without shoes. Not how Leslie had intended to end this evening.

The firefighters were still putting out the flames from the restaurant several floors above, as she sat on the sidewalk. She felt familiar hands slide a sports jacket over her shoulders, and looked up at the wan smile on Clark’s face. He was just as wet as her, but she was wearing a lot less.

The ambulances and firetrucks shielded her from the crowd, but she could hear the calls of paparazzi who regularly snapped shots of her. As well as more reporters, all clamoring for a story. Yeah, she was with a reporter but he wasn’t like them.

“How are you doing?” Clark asked kindly. She groaned, closing her eyes tightly.

“How do you think I’m doing?” She hissed back. He sat down next to her, and wrapped a large arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his warm, firm body, and sighed deeply.

“I’m not having a good day,” she admitted. Clark nodded, and rested his chin on her head.

“Yeah. It’s not that great for me, either,” he said.

It had started so promisingly: She’d texted him where and when to meet her, and how to dress. She’d selected her best little black dress-A hot number that showed off her generous cleavage and left barely anything else to the imagination. She’d gone with her contacts and a blonde wig-The perfect disguise, as nobody was going to be looking too hard at her face.

Finally, she hadn’t told Lenny about her plans. She’d just told him she was going home and not to bother her. He knew the drill.

The restaurant was four star, with a gorgeous view of Metropolis’ skyline. She also knew thanks to her contacts with the local paparazzi that they’d be after Lex Luthor on a date with some fashion designer at a five star restaurant across town.

It was perfect… Until it wasn’t.

“I gave the statement to the police officer,” Clark said quietly. “You want to get out of here?”

“Desperately,” Leslie muttered. Clark took a deep breath, and lifted her up to her feet. She clung onto him as they headed away, into a nearby alley. They made it to a maintenance door. Leslie sighed as Clark lifted his glasses up.

“It’ll be locked, I’ll bet,” she said, reaching out to try the handle. To her surprise, it was unlocked-And very warm. She opened the door and went through as Clark held it open for her. “Thank God for shitty maintenance standards.”

“Yeah,” Clark said. Leslie shook her head, again pressing herself against Clark’s warm body. He again wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they walked into the dark, dry car park.

They found Clark’s car: A race red Holt Motors Corvus coupe. He opened the side door for her, and she slid in silently. He walked around, got into the driver’s seat, started it up and headed out. They left the car park, and were soon on the elevated highways of Metropolis. Leslie watched the lights of the city pass by, buried in Clark’s jacket.

They finally came to a stop outside her apartment. They sat in silence for a time, only the quiet hum of the motor filling the cabin.

Clark finally sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Leslie started, and looked at him in confusion.

“You’re sorry? You didn’t do anything,” Leslie said, “I mean, those paparazzi barged in and started snapping photos… And their shitty lithium batteries burst into flames all at once… Causing that fire...”

Clark grimaced, looking even more guilty.

“Even so-” He tried. Leslie shook her head violently.

“No, no, look,” Leslie said, reaching out to put her hand on his strong arm, “this? This wasn’t you. This is all me.” She sighed and leaned back, looking up through the clear canopy of the coupe. She sucked in a deep breath, and let it out as a bitter laugh.

“Being a celebrity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” she said. “I know, shit, I’ve got money and I’m financially secure. Fuck, I would never complain about that. I influence millions of people a day. Maybe some of them? I can make their lives a little better. But every time I want to be normal, that fucking reality intrudes and…” She spread her open hands out helplessly, and dropped them into her lap.

Leslie shook her head, and leaned away from Clark. She pressed a hand to her temple, a headache pounding against the front of her skull.

“No, this was all me,” Leslie sighed. “I’m really sorry, Clark. I just… I mean, you’re not just a taste of normality for me. I’m not using you for that. I… I really do care about you.”

Clark hesitated, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. It also seemed to bend under his fingers-Wow he must have been worked up. He then looked at her, and smiled.

“I care about you too,” he said, “and believe it or not? I understand what it’s like to want to be normal.”

Leslie nodded. “But we’re not,” she said softly. “I mean, I’m a celebrity, and you’re…”

Clark sucked in a deep breath.

“A reporter who keeps getting wrapped up in crazy shit to do your job,” she finished. Clark was still, and then slowly nodded.

“Yeah… That’s me,” he said. He looked at her. “So… Should we just not try?”

He said it as calmly as he could, but she could feel the agitation and desperation in his voice. See it in how stiff he was, like he was trying to stand up straight against the storm rolling in.

Leslie felt raw passion erupt inside her. Anger, determination, and desire. She slid up into his lap, and planted herself down hard. He stared at her in surprise, just before she grabbed his tie and pulled him into a toe curling kiss. Her tongue sought out his, and while it was frozen for a moment it began wrestling back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts up against his broad chest, rubbing herself up and down him.

Finally, she broke the kiss, panting hard for breath as a string of saliva drooped between their mouths. Clark was panting hard too, his cheeks red. Leslie shook her head.

“Fuck. That,” Leslie growled. “I want some happiness, Clark. We deserve some happiness. Maybe it’ll be hard, but I… I’ll work for it. If you want to.” She held him more tightly.

“Do you want to?” She asked.

He was silent, still. That burst of fiery passion was nearly squelched, as he seemed like stone. She felt her heart fall into her belly.

Shit. She’d come on too strong. She’d chased him away, and now he was…

He was wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her tight against him. He rested his nose against hers, and looked deeply into her eyes.

“It’s not going to be easy,” he whispered. “There are things about me… I mean, you might not understand. You might-”

“I might,” Leslie whispered, nuzzling him and tugging at his collar, “but let’s deal with that when it happens. For now…?” She resumed kissing him passionately, and her inner fire came roaring back as he responded in kind. In fact, he was so good she had to pull back to get some breath back, her chest heaving.

“Haa… Haa… You’re… Pretty good at that,” she gasped. Clark actually blushed.

“I don’t… Have a lot of experience,” he admitted. “And it’s been a while-”

She rested a finger against his lips, and shook her head with a smirk.

“None of that,” she whispered. “Look, just let go and go for it.”

“Well,” Clark muttered. She laughed with a cocky smirk.

“Come on Smallville. I’m a big girl, treat me like it! I can take it! And hey, if you need to learn more,” she rubbed herself up against him, “I am a very, very patient teacher. So come on.”

Leslie smirked at him.

“Hit me with your best shot-”

\- - -

The next morning…

\- - -

The sunlight shone brightly through the blinds, and Leslie found her consciousness returned as the beams washed over her eyes. She was staring up at the ceiling, lying in her bed.

She was fairly certain she had limbs at some point, but that was a distant memory. She was also pretty sure her mouth could make expressions other than a broad, open smile, but she wasn’t able to make it do anything but that. All she had on was that smile, and a thin silk sheet.

Clark Kent, dressed and coiffed properly, slid into view over her. He smiled warmly, reaching down to cup her cheek. She rubbed up against his palm happily.

“Good morning,” he said brightly. “How are you?”

“Uhhh… Greeeattt,” she managed.

“I called Lenny on your phone,” Clark said, “that you’d be out today. He wasn’t happy but he shifted some stuff around. You can talk to him more later.”

“Yeeeeahhh,” Leslie moaned. Clark reached down to take her into his arms, and helped her sit up. She held onto him tightly, humming softly and happily at the feel of his body. He hugged her back, and kissed her chastely on her lips. He helped her lean back against a pillow, and let her go. She leaned back, her limbs again resuming their impression of a marionette’s.

He set a tray in front of her, with a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, fruit, and coffee all prepared. He beamed at her, looking as relaxed and happy as she felt.

“I also made you breakfast,” he said, “not as good as my mom’s, but plenty of it.”

“Thank youuu,” she warbled. Clark leaned over and kissed her again. She melted into it, again wrapping her arms around his neck. “Mmmm~...”

“But I gotta go,” he said, after breaking the kiss, “there’s something big going on, and I have to deal with it.”

Leslie pouted, but another nuzzle from Clark made her giggle.

“Okay~,” Leslie said. She nuzzled him back. “Be careful~.”

“I will,” he promised. He smiled, and reluctantly pulled away. She whined a bit, but finally let him go. He headed out, the door shutting behind him. She looked down at the incredible breakfast, and sighed happily.

She knew she was love drunk. After a night like that, who wouldn’t be? But combined with everything else…

“I think I love him,” she admitted.

\- - -


	6. The Interview

Leslie: "Hello Metropolis and viewers around the world, this is Livewire! As those of you watching our stream can see but those of you just listening will have to take our word for, we have in the studio today: Superman! And Lois Lane, for some reason."

Lois: "Streaming huh? Getting back to your roots as a cam girl, Willis?"

Leslie: "Nah, just giving you some experience when the Daily Planet turns into a phone app. Better use the fish eye lens to make those things look as big as possible."

Lois: "I guess I'll just defer to the expert when it comes to showing off cleavage."

Superman: "Ahem..."

Leslie: "So, Superman. First off... Thanks for coming onto the show and thanks for saving Metropolis from lots of crazy crap. Never let it be said I'm ungrateful."

Superman: "Well, thank you Leslie. I really appreciate that."

Leslie: "Buuut, after watching footage of you in action, I think it's safe to say you're... Pretty new at the superhero thing?"

Superman: "Yes, I haven't been active very long."

_In his office, Perry White feels a sudden migraine coming on._

Leslie: "Yeah, I kind of figured. I asked a hand to hand combat expert from US Special Forces about your combat performance... He had some critiques. One, you seem to take tanking damage literally. I mean, I get you're trying to act as a shield, but in many situations you could have been better served by dodging. You are invulnerable, pretty much, but you do seem to take hits to your stamina."

Superman: "I wouldn't say I'm invulnerable, but I am very, very tough. But anyone can get overwhelmed and I suppose I might rely on it a little too much."

Leslie: "Secondly, and, just putting it out there... You do realize you have legs, right? You can kick."

Superman: "It's a lot harder to control a kick rather than a punch. Having strength like mine? You need a LOT of control. It'd be easy for me to kill someone if I wasn't making sure I held back. Even if they were in, say, powered armor."

_In prison, John Corben suddenly finds he's lost his appetite._

Leslie: "He final critique is kind of all over that: Basically that you need more control and to not overthink fights as much. But it's probably hard for you to find a sparring partner."

Superman: "Extremely."

Leslie: "And of course, we have thousands and THOUSANDS of comments on ways for you to learn better control... Most of them from anime... Why don't we take a look?"

Lois: "Really? This is the show?"

Leslie: "Megami41 suggests 'Wear really heavy weights and learn how to move normally with them. Then take them off.'"

Superman: "Not a lot of things heavy enough and easy to wear under spandex. What's the next comment?"

Leslie: "Bl... Blurgzballs223? I think? They suggest 'Make a clone of yourself to fight.'"

Superman: "Somebody did that, it did not end well."

Leslie: "Lots of comments about how hot you look... How you are totally gay... It's the Internet people, what do you expect?"

Leslie: "This one says 'Is there something that will turn off your powers so you can train normally... And that's a lot of emotes after..."

Superman: "Maybe... What's the next one?"

Leslie: "This one just says you should find Master Roshi... And then an argument about who the best mentor from various shonen animes is..."

Lois: "Oh my God, do you actually know what she's talking about?"

Superman: "You don't?"

Lois: "Geez..."

Leslie: "Annnd now there's a whole flood of OMG Superman's an anime fan comments. Moving right along. This commenter thinks you'd look better if your costume was all black."

Superman: "No thanks. I don't want to horn in on someone else's color scheme."

Leslie: "This one asks 'If you are the last Kryptonian, will you have children to repopulate the species?"

Superman: "I do want to have kids some day. But the woman would have to be very special. I'd teach them their heritage of course, but Earth is my home. And their home too. So that would take precedent."

Leslie: "Well, I think you're a shoe in for a green card at this rate. But hey, you could always marry for your citizenship."

Superman: *smile* "Are you volunteering?"

Leslie: "No thanks. But Lane looks like she's getting pretty desperate so hey!"

Lois: "We're friends, Willis. And I wouldn't be talking about desperate looking when you don't know how to cover up your belly."

Leslie: "Yeah Miss Prude, I'll get right on that when you wear a skirt that doesn't show off your panties when you 'accidentally' misstep."

\- - -

_After the commercial break..._

Leslie: "Well, we've had some fun this interview. Something to shake things up and entertain, but we need some food for thought. So here we get to the unscripted bit."

Lois: "Hey, you never said-"

Leslie: "Oh what, the Daily Planet is Superman's PR firm now? I guess that would be the case since otherwise you'd have to start running clickbait articles to stay afloat."

Lois: "At least we do actual journalism you yellow-!"

Superman: "Lois, it's all right. This is why I came on the show. Go ahead Leslie."

_Lois fumes as Leslie smirks a bit._

Leslie: "So, Superman: You say you're here to help out, protect the world, generally use your powers for good. Isn't that right?"

Superman: "It is, yes."

Leslie: "But good can be a complicated thing. So can evil. I mean, why don't you just go and kill off all the evil dictators in the world? That would be seen as good by a lot of people."

Superman: "In their view, yes. It would."

Leslie: "And we still have wars, and crime, and violence... I mean, you could take over the world. Most people who tried thought they were doing it for its own good. That they would do a better job running it. And here you are, the Superman, who could redefine good and evil. Or just define it. You have that power... You can't tell me you aren't at least tempted from time to time to take over?"

_Superman is quiet for a long time, thinking it over. Leslie doesn't say anything, and looks like she's holding her breath. Lois is the same._

Superman: "Anyone with power is tempted to abuse it. Doesn't matter who they are, or what kind of power they have. They are. And I'm no different. The temptation is always there."

_Superman lets out a long sigh._

Superman: "But my power doesn't mean I'd make a better world if I was in charge. It would just be a world under me. It would probably be a lot worse, because for all my abilities, I still fail. I still screw up. I still make mistakes."

_Superman leans forward, looking very grave. Lois and Leslie are watching intently. Lois looks tempted to put her hand on his shoulder, but she resists._

Superman: "I might have the powers of a god, but when it comes to reason and judgement? I'm still as mortal as anyone else. And as a mortal, I recognize that I need to use this power responsibly. I can't fix all the world's problems. No one can. But I can use this power to make the world a better place, and encourage other people to realize they also have the ability to make the world a better place. Because nobody can do it alone. Together? We have a much better chance."

Leslie: "... That's... Actually a lot more honest than I was expecting."

Superman: "Yeah. I'd make a lousy politician."

Leslie: "Yeah. Yeah, you'd suck at it."

_Lois visibly relaxes, as does Superman. Leslie smiles._

Leslie: "... I guess we can skip the comments asking you to kill such and such. Some of them are really disturbing, even for me. We have got a comment from Tetsuya Nomura... You want to do some voice acting?"

Superman: "For who?"

Leslie: "Sephiroth, Final Fantasy 7."

Superman: _Eyebrows rise_ "Really?"

Leslie: "Apparently you have a very serious tone that he likes."

Lois: "Do you have nothing but weebs who listen to your show?"

Leslie: "Looks like. Come on Lane, join the Weeaboo side: Think of it as your chance to bully nerds in completely new ways!"

Lois: "I _was_ a nerd. Just a different species of nerd. There's plenty of weird junk right here in America."

Leslie: "Wow, and they call me provincial. 'Planet Doomed, Metropolis Most Affected.'"

Lois: "That was released on April Fool's Day. Guess the joke went over your head."

Leslie: "This from the lady in high heels. Little insecure are we?"

Lois: "I'm not the one wearing a push up bra-Though with udders like those, I'm surprised you aren't calling yourself a cyborg. How much silicone did they need?"

Leslie: "I'm all natural, Miss 'Violet Eyes.'"

Lois: "With a dye job like that I'm amazed you can say the word 'natural' without laughing."

Superman: "You do realize most of the comments are now largely about you two kissing, right?"

Leslie: "Eh. I don't want my tongue stuck in Miss Frigid here."

Lois: "Like you'd even know what to do with me."

\- - -

_After the last commercial break.._

Leslie: "Well... We've had some laughs. We've talked about power and how it is used. And Lois Lane's been annoyed, so hey, productive. But let's get far more basic in the time we have left. Lane?"

Lois: "You'd know all about basic, wouldn't you? But fine."

Leslie: "Superman, do you know Batman?"

Superman: "Can't say that I've ever met him, no. Though for an urban legend, he sure gets a lot of press."

Leslie: "Then again, I am speaking to a space alien on a global computer network. Some giant bat-human is not that weird in comparison."

Superman: "Weird is relative too."

Leslie: "Yeah. Still, at least for now, I guess I'm kind of happy you're the one with these powers. Compared to the guys who want to kill everyone at Disney over their Star Wars movies... Though I can't exactly blame them."

Lois: "Seriously?"

Leslie: "Oh... And here come the flame wars because I expressed an opinion. Gotta love the Internet."

Superman: "I guess I'll take that as a compliment?"

Leslie: "I guess so. Here are a few other questions from the comments, sorted out by our social media manager-Who is doing a kind of a so-so job right now. Ooh! This is a good one: 'Do you really have a base on the moon?'"

Superman: "Nope. It would be way too far away, and my commute is terrible as it is."

Leslie: "Next question: 'Superman, are you actually humanoid? Or are you a tiny alien riding around in a robot suit?'"

Lois: "Yeah, you need to fire your social media manager."

Superman: _Takes Leslie's hand, and presses it against his face_ "Do I feel like a robot?"

Leslie: "... Eh, no. But you could be a very good robot." _She tries to poke him in the eyes, but he blocks_ "Aww...!"

Lois: "Any others? This is like a train wreck: I can't look away."

Leslie: "This is the kind of hard hitting journalism you can't get anywhere else! But yeah: 'Do you have to eat a lot every day?'"

Superman: "I do eat slightly more than most humans, but I get most of my energy from the sun. Which is handy, since I don't have to chow down every second just to keep going. The Flash is a bit less lucky, since he has to eat a LOT of food every day to keep running."

Leslie: "I guess that's the kind of super science I'll get a headache trying to understand. Good luck to the guys who do! Next question: 'Can you shoot energy from your hands?'"

Superman: "Nope."

Leslie: "Well, that's one less thing in common with Goku-"

Superman: "They come from my eyes. Eyebeams. It's heat vision."

Leslie: "Oh. Okay, that's cool. Again, not sure how that works scientifically but hey. It keeps your hands free."

Superman: "And before you ask, yes: I am aware of all the fanart depicting me fighting Goku. Which doesn't make sense: We'd probably be friends."

Leslie: "I know right? He'd probably call you a nerd though."

Superman: "Who isn't compared to him?"

Leslie: "Yeah..."

Lois: "And yet again, I'm missing context."

Leslie: "You're a journalist, aren't you supposed to do some research?"

Lois: "I didn't think I'd be walking into a science fiction convention. I did know I'd be walking into a war zone with you around."

Leslie: _laughs "_ Oh Lane _._ Why must you always engage me in these petty verbal fencing matches?"

Lois: _sneer_ "Because I don't have a real sword handy."

Leslie: "..." _Grins_ "Babylon 5!"

Lois: _eyes widen_ "No..."

Leslie: "Oh my God! That was a Babylon 5 reference! You watched it!"

Lois: "No I didn't-!"

Leslie: "You know what that makes us?"

Lois: "Nooo..."

Leslie: " _NERD SISTERS!_ Give me a hug!"

Lois: "No!"

Superman: _chuckles_ "You're a Garibaldi fangirl, aren't you?"

Lois: "Et Tu, Brutus?"

Superman: _shrugs_ "I was honestly more partial to Vir myself. Unassuming, quiet... but he made an impact and he stuck to his guns."

Leslie: "I have never found you hotter than right now."

Lois: "Which one of us?"

Leslie: _smirk_ "Sadly, that's all the time we have for today-"

Superman: "Yes. I hear police sirens. Miss Willis, Miss Lane, thank you for a very interesting interview. It was actually a lot more fun than I thought it was, but-"

Leslie: "I know, I know: This looks like a job for Superman."

Superman: "Lois actually coined that meme. You can ask her all about it." _He nods... And flies out the nearby window_

Lois: "I didn't coin the meme! I just wrote it! It's a great line!"

Leslie: "And the world rewarded you by sticking it onto every stale joke image you can imagine."

Lois: "God I hate the Internet."

Leslie: "You're not the only one. Well! Since we're about to end, want to practice kissing for the camera before the Daily Planet goes under?"

Lois: "How about I shove that microphone right up your-!"

_And the stream ends..._


	7. The Way of All Flesh: Coda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the episode "The Way of All Flesh" as Leslie comforts Clark after a rough day...

Leslie had tried very hard not to be clingy. That was the last thing she wanted to be to Clark. After all, he had his own life and so did she. And to keep the paparazzi from ruining his life, she would have to exercise some caution and restraint when it came to physically seeing him. Naturally, he was very busy keeping up with the most voracious newshound the city had ever seen and investigating stuff that could be dangerous, so he didn't need her just dropping in on him all the time. That was just the reality of the situation.  
  
Leslie was extremely proud of herself for not just going nuts and doing anything crazy. Anything strange. Anything borderline illegal...  
  
But the last couple of weeks, Clark had been looking really down. Like he was sick, stressed out-Probably both, really. So she decided there was really only one way to cheer him up.  
  
The door to his bedroom opened. Leslie blinked. Funny, she hadn't heard him use the front door. No matter!  
  
She affixed her most sultry, come hither look to her face. She stretched out on his bed, dressed in the sluttiest lingerie she had been able to find: A dark red sheer nightie over matching bra, panties, stockings and garter belt. She pouted with her matching lipstick as she saw him reach for the light, and switch it on.  
  
"Hey sweetie," she said in a voice dripping with sex, "what took you so-The fuck?!" Leslie dropped her sex kitten persona and sat up in alarm. Clark smiled at her, looking haggard and worn.  
  
"Hey babe," he managed weakly, as though speaking was difficult for him. He was hunched over, his skin pale and his forehead clammy. Leslie got up onto her ridiculously high, pointy heels... And immediately fell over.  
  
"Oh shit-!"  
  
Clark _moved,_ and she was in his arms. She looked up at him in shock, as he kept up his smile.  
  
"You look great," he wheezed sincerely, nuzzling the top of her head. She shook her head.  
  
"You look like shit!" Leslie gasped, her hands all over his face. She kicked off her heels and stood up, and he leaned back to let her, "Holy fuck! What happened?!"  
  
"As it turns out," Clark sighed, a little shakily, "keeping up with Superman and a super cyborg... Really takes it out of a guy."  
  
\- - -  
  
Leslie's cooking skills had been mediocre at best. She'd had to cook for herself, so everything she could make was simple and foolproof. Nowadays she mostly got her food delivered or prepared, but hey: Anyone could heat up a bowl of soup and put crackers in it without screwing it up.  
  
She put the finishing touches on it, and took the bowl out to the living room. Clark was on the couch, down to his boxers and wrapped in a fuzzy quilt that was probably hand knit by his mother or something. So she took extra care to not spill any soup onto it as she set it in front of him on the coffee table. She sat down next to him, sliding against him as though afraid he might drop dead at any second. He gave her a warm smile, and dug into the soup gratefully before he spoke.  
  
"Mmm... Glad I still had some of the good stuff left over," Clark said with a nod. "I gotta go shopping again soon."  
  
"I saw the fight on the news-Hell I commentated on it!" Leslie cried. "How did you get this bad?"  
  
Clark was still for a long moment, before he sighed. "Like I said," he admitted, "trying to keep up with that fight? Exhausting. All the lifts and other means of getting around were offline because of the damage, and running up and down the stairs between skyscrapers and skyways is tough cardio," he said. Leslie sighed and shook her head, leaning up against him.  
  
"Idiot," she said, "why can't you be like all the other journalists and just repeat what you hear on Twitter?"  
  
Clark smirked slightly.  
  
"Then I wouldn't be very good at my job, would I?" He soon finished the soup, and he did look a lot better. Leslie shook her head again, and rested it against his shoulder.  
  
"So," Leslie began, "John Corben's a cyborg now, huh? Powered by some... Green crap? Kryptonite, right? Hurts Superman?"  
  
Clark looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah," he said. "I learned about it from Doctor Hamilton-Apparently it's a piece of his homeworld. Followed him here. But it's radioactive. Deadly to him. Plus, he's made of some new kind of metallic alloy: Metallo. It's incredibly strong, but lightweight. And with Kryptonite powering him-"  
  
"It makes him into someone who can derail a train through sheer strength," Leslie laughed grimly. "Man, what a world we live in. Oh, and let me guess: The guy who turned Corben into that thing is getting away scot free?"  
  
Clark gave Leslie a cautious expression, his arm hovering near her waist.  
  
"And who do you think turned him into that thing, Leslie?" He asked slowly.  
  
Leslie rolled her eyes, and held a finger up to her chin as she hummed sarcastically.  
  
"Gee. Who's a rich, powerful businessman slash genius engineer with a hard on for robots and who hates Superman?" Leslie shook her head with a snort. "Come on Clark. It's obvious Lex has a murderboner for Superman. Has since he showed up. I mean, either Superman's a threat to his power that Lex can't control, which would fuck with him _hard..."  
  
"_Or?" Clark asked. Leslie shrugged and smiled impishly.  
  
"Or he's finally coming to terms with his repressed sexuality and expressing his affection the only way he knows how: Trying to kill the one man he wants with robots and shit," she said. Clark's face became green, and he looked aside.  
  
"Ugh."  
  
"Aw, come on," Leslie cooed, "a little man on man action in your thoughts isn't gonna kill you!"  
  
"It is when one of them is Lex," Clark groused. Leslie nodded, hugging his arm and pressing her boobs against his arm in apology.  
  
"All right, good point. Sorry about that," she said. "But seriously: The asshole unleashed a killer cyborg in Metropolis and he needs to pay."  
  
"Yes. He does. Problem: We have no proof," Clark said gently. Leslie snorted.  
  
"That's never stopped me before," she huffed. Clark shot her a very serious look, his eyes narrowed behind his glasses.  
  
"Leslie... Don't," he said. "Lex Luthor is dangerous. If he's this reckless with his power to get rid of Superman, what do you think he might do to you?"  
  
Leslie growled. "I've never been afraid of men with power," she stated firmly, "and I'm not going to start now! So we don't have definitive proof-The people need to at least know who to blame! It's the truth!"  
  
"It is," Clark said with a nod, "and that's what I pursue. But you can't just start saying things I've told you about my job on air without proof. Especially if it puts you in his crosshairs."  
  
"It's not like I haven't been slamming on Luthor since I got my show!" Leslie shot back, tightening her grip on his bicep. "I take shots at him all the time! Killing me off would be a hell of a red flag for everyone, a sure sign he was close to-!"  
  
Clark turned to face her, and wrapped his arms around her. He completely encompassed her, and she almost tried to struggle out of it. He looked her right in the eyes, his expression firm, furious... And desperate.  
  
"I can't risk losing you," he said softly, in a tone that belied his expression. Leslie stared him back in the face, her face cold. She held onto his arms and looked him right back in the eye.  
  
Despite everything, her heart fluttered at this show of protectiveness. Still...  
  
"You won't," she said softly, "but how can I let this slide?"  
  
Clark sighed heavily.  
  
"I'm not asking you to let it slide," he said, "but I am asking you to wait. Wait until there's enough to bring him down with. Don't attract his direct attention."  
  
Leslie took a deep breath. Part of her was screaming to just defy him: Who was he to tell her what to do?! Wasn't he just seeking the glory for himself?! She'd had lovers who had done just that, used her for their own goals. She'd hated being taken advantage of like that, being nothing more than a means to an end.  
  
But that wasn't what Clark was asking, was it?  
  
She took a deep breath, and rested a hand against his broad, bare chest. She looked down for a bit, getting her bearings, and looked back up into his eyes.  
  
"Okay," she said, "I'll keep a lid on this... For now." She sighed heavily and rested her head against his chest. She felt his hand rub up and down her back, and she chuckled a little.  
  
"What?" Clark asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing," she said. She hummed and looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest like a puppy. "I was just thinking that saying he's gay for Superman would probably annoy him a lot more."  
  
Clark sighed, and reached down to ruffle her hair. She playfully batted his hand away with her own.  
  
"You're impossible," he said. Leslie grinned.  
  
"Yup," she proudly admitted. He smiled back, and Leslie was pleasantly surprised at how nice it was to make him do that.  
  
"Sooo," Leslie began, grabbing the bowl and spoon with a slow, deliberate action she combined with rolling her hips, "anything else I can do to cheer you up?"  
  
"Hmmm?" Clark asked, leaning back. Leslie rolled her eyes. She swayed her bottom as she walked into the kitchenette, bending over quite deliberately as she shoved the bowl and spoon into his dish washer. She rose up, and slowly turned around, bringing her hands up to her large breasts as she walked seductively back towards him. Maybe he needed to be pointed in the right direction.  
  
"Anything I could do, maybe~?" She simpered. Clark didn't respond. She frowned, and walked up to him. "Clark? Hey? You okay?"  
  
A gentle snore answered her, his eyes shut tight. Leslie growled a bit under her breath, about ready to yell at him to wake up! She was still dressed in her sexy finest and he just-he just-!  
  
She saw the contented smile on his face, and sighed. Her ire withdrew from her blood. She reached up and pulled his glasses off, gently setting them on the table. She walked over to the lights, and killed them. She walked back, and snuggled up to him. In his sleep, he lifted his arm to wrap around her and pull her tight against him. She smiled, and pulled the blanket tight around them both. It was a tight fit, but right now Leslie couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be.  
  
"Oh, I'm gonna make you pay me back for this so hard," she murmured to him, cuddling up against his strong chest and listening to his gentle heartbeat, "I'm thinking leather Speedos at least..."  
  
She drifted off herself, her last waking thought about how handsome he looked without his glasses...


	8. The Main Man

\- - -

**THE MAIN MAN - PRELUDE**

The Daily Planet had been a fixture of Metropolis from the 1850s, capitalizing off of the then-recent discovery of Neptune to have a fresh and new newspaper title. It encapsulated the idea of progress, that the world was truly becoming connected thanks to the railway and the telegraph. It wasn’t until Metropolis’ debut of the skyscraper in the 1930s, nearly a century later, that the newspaper got its now iconic home on the corner of Shuster Ave and 1st Street in downtown. Complete with the huge globe statue atop it, that shone like a beacon across the City of Tomorrow.

It was impossible to miss, and despite her own cynicism Leslie still appreciated the art deco design of the skyscraper in the midst of so much soulless glass, steel and concrete. The old building was a survivor, and she appreciated it.

She hoped it could pass on a little of that to her via osmosis though, as she pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. The Bluetooth earbud glowing at the side of her head was the source of her irritation as she entered the main lobby.

“Lenny, I thought I made it fucking clear: _This is my day off,”_ Leslie hissed to the microphone stuck to the side of her jaw. She could imagine Lenny rubbing his hand over his badly disguised bald spot.

“ _You can still help me out here, Leslie! Come on! We need something for the gossip columns and-”_

“Other thing I thought I made _fucking clear:_ My personal life is _off limits,”_ Leslie growled. A little old lady sitting by the elevator gave her an affronted look, but Leslie ignored it as she hit the call button.

“ _That was before you actually had one,”_ Lenny responded. “ _I mean, a steady boyfriend? Girlfriend? They’re already speculating! You could at least tell me who it is!”_

Leslie scoffed.

“I don’t have to tell you shit!”

“ _But Leslie, babe,”_ Lenny insisted, “ _when you’re a celebrity you gotta use reputation! I mean, that interview with Superman and Lois is old news now!”_

“It was a month ago and our ratings are still as high as ever! Not to mention our views,” Leslie retorted. “We’re doing great!”

“ _But we can always be doing better!”_ Lenny insisted. “ _Come on! That incident at the restaurant got you some buzz but not as much as-”_

“That incident at the restaurant _fucking sucked,_ ” Leslie hissed, “and I’m not repeating it. I’m not a fucking Kardashian! I’m not going to turn my personal life into a circus!”

“ _But Leslie-Come on-Be reasonable!”_ Lenny insisted.

“Hey, know what’s reasonable?” Leslie asked cheerfully. She hung up, and blocked Lenny’s number.

“That. Asshole,” she muttered. The old woman was still staring at her. Leslie sucked in a deep breath, and let it out hard. She smoothed down the front of her dress, and gave the old lady a warm smile.

“Hey,” she said, rummaging in her basket, “you look like you could use a pick me up.” She handed the old lady a blue chrysanthemum, holding it out as an offering. The old lady hesitated, then took it. She sniffed it, and smiled. Leslie nodded to her.

The elevator chimed, and the doors finally opened. Leslie strode in, turning around. The old lady’s smile made hers a lot more genuine. That’s what she wanted to greet Clark with.

She made it to the offices near the top floor, only getting a few weird looks from a few employees as she walked between the numerous desks for all of the busy journalists. The large windows overhead gave a simply amazing view of the city skyline, and Leslie could see the logic in the design: No office? That’s fine, give everyone a window.

It also made eavesdropping a lot easier, as she approached the desk Clark was sitting at. There was Lane, standing in front of him as he typed, holding up a newspaper and complaining about something.

“I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town,” Lois said, looking annoyed but showing just a bit of respect. Leslie paused, as she saw Clark lean closer to Lois.

“Well, Lois, the truth is, I'm actually Superman in disguise and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen, and then squeeze you out of the byline,” he replied. He leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on his desk with a very sexy, smug smile.

Lois was silent for a moment, then smirked back.

“You're a sick man, Kent,” she stated, turning and heading to her own desk. Clark shrugged.

“You asked,” he chuckled.

_Okay. That was kind of hot,_ Leslie thought. Outwardly, she maintained her character as she approached Clark’s desk. She cleared her throat and smiled warmly, putting her hands around her flower basket as Clark looked up at her.

“Excuse me Mister Kent,” she said in a gentle, warm tone, “I’m Aerith Gainsborough. We met when you did that story on the Suicide Slum Midgar Church?”

Lois immediately raised an eyebrow. Clark stared for a second, and then recognition flashed in his eyes.

“I’ve never heard of a Midgar Church in Suicide Slum,” Lois said slowly, eyes narrowed. Leslie shrugged, still conveying that warm, gentle smile like the sun.

“It’s gone through a few different names, but Mister Kent really helped us out,” she said. She gave Clark a warmer smile, with just the right amount of mischief in her gaze. “I was hoping to thank Mister Kent personally? His article has increased our donations by almost double!”

“Uh, certainly,” Clark said. He stood up and smiled at her. “I don’t need any thanks-”

Leslie wrapped her arms around his bicep, and beamed sweetly up at him.

“Oh, but I insist!” She giggled. “You might also help us by doing another story?”

“Well,” Clark began, glancing back at Lois and then back at Leslie, “I’m sure we can work out the details.”

“Superman, huh?” Lois deadpanned. Clark shrugged, and immediately began guiding Leslie away from the desks towards one of the utility rooms on the other side of the main floor.

“He helps all kinds,” Clark replied, smirking just a bit. Leslie hid her own, until they finally got into a deserted conference room. He shut the door, and turned around with one eyebrow firmly raised above his glasses.

“Leslie… Why are you visiting me dressed as Aerith Gainsborough?” He asked, extremely bemused. Leslie hummed and pushed up against him with a broad smile.

“What? I can’t just visit my boyfriend on my day off?” She asked. Clark scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“I mean… I don’t mind but-Is that what we are now?” He asked. Leslie put her hands on her hips, pulling back just a bit.

“Well, I did make you soup and you rocked my world,” she said, “I think that fits the basic definition.”

Clark nodded, smiling a bit wryly.

“Fair enough,” he said. He looked her up and down, and he whistled softly. “Now that’s impressive.”

“I think I might stick with it for a few conventions,” she said, “but I wanted your opinion first.” She spun around, pirouetting with some difficulty in her hiking boots.

“How do I look?” Leslie asked. Clark beamed.

“Like the kind of person I’d save the world for, over and over,” he said. Leslie giggled, and hugged him tightly.

“That’s just what I was going for,” she said happily. She looked up at him with a smirk.

So,” Leslie began, “you feel like playing hooky for the rest of the day? Doing some Chocobo riding?”

Clark sighed, and hugged her back tightly.

“I’d love to. Honestly, I would,” Clark said, “but I’m on a deadline with Perry over a story about Lexcorp and I can’t afford to drop it now.”

“Oh,” Leslie said with a nod, “I see.”

Clark immediately looked concerned, “I am really sorry, Leslie,” he said. Leslie sighed and turned away, looking out the window and going for as soulful a look as possible. It must have been working since Clark looked even guiltier.

“I understand,” she said, “your job is important. You being so committed to it is one of the reasons I care about you.”

Clark nodded back slowly.

“I’m glad you see it that way,” Clark replied. He was about to turn away, but Leslie caught his arm and pulled him into another tight embrace. She looked up at him with a broad, happy smile.

“Which means we should make the most of the time we have,” she said, running her hands up and down his sides. Clark’s eyes widened.

“Uh, Leslie, I don’t think I-”

“Are you saying, Clark Kent,” Leslie began, rubbing a circle into Clark’s firm chest with her finger, “that when your girlfriend dresses up in hot cosplay to visit you at work and offers to let you do _anything_ you want to her in this empty conference room, you’ll say no?”

Clark’s jaw dropped. Leslie’s smirk widened even more, as she nuzzled his chest.

“I… That is-”

“I’m not hearing a no~,” Leslie purred. She looked up at him. “Come on Smallville. We have to be quick, but I’m sure you can do just fine. Enough to make us both happy, hm?”

“I…” Clark gulped. Leslie smirked. Clark finally smirked back.

“I’m willing to find out,” he growled.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Leslie said with a beam.

\- - -

Twenty minutes later, Clark emerged from the conference room, adjusting his tie and wearing a much more relaxed smile. He walked towards his desk, only to notice that Lois was not at hers. Jimmy Olsen was though, checking his phone.

“What’s up Jimmy?” Clark asked. Jimmy looked up at the reporter and grinned.

“Oh man, you will not believe this,” Jimmy said, holding up his phone. “Some space biker just smashed into a police precinct a few blocks away and started shooting up the place! Man, is this the weirdest viral marketing campaign or what?”

Clark’s eyes widened. “And Lois went to go cover it?” He asked. Jimmy nodded, glancing back at his phone.

“I wanted to get you, but she was determined not to get scooped by you again,” he said. He looked back at Clark. “I guess this means she’ll get the story-Huh?”

Clark was long gone. Jimmy blinked a few times. He shrugged.

“Okay, I guess maybe she won’t,” he muttered. He looked back at his phone, then felt a hand tap his shoulder. He looked up and gawked.

“Huh?! Aerith?!”

The woman beamed at him, even as she leaned heavily on a nearby desk. “Hey,” she said, “mind helping me downstairs? I’ve called an Uber but I’m gonna have some trouble getting down.”

“Uh… Sure miss?” Jimmy said. He let the woman lean against him as they made their way for the elevators. “What were you doing here?”

“I needed to chat with Mister Kent about a few things,” she said with a happy sigh, “and we resolved it all…” Here she purred, “ _very nicely.”_

Jimmy may have been a teenager, but he wasn’t stupid. Or at least as stupid as most people thought. Some hot cosplayer visiting Clark and emerging from a room after almost half an hour alone?

“Did you invite him to cosplay with you?” Jimmy asked. The woman laughed.

“Something like that, sweet summer child…”

"Awesome," Jimmy said, as he got her to the elevator, "the guy needs to get out more. All I ever see him doing is work, work, work..."

\- - -

**THE MAIN MAN: Aftermath**

After that… A week of nothing. She’d seen the videos. She’d seen the damage. She’d made commentary:

A crazy alien biker attacking Superman? That was news. That was something to stream. It was a new chapter in the insanity that was now real life. Another thing for endless commentary and rewriting of the books of science, philosophy, and everything else.

Once again, Superman vanished. The world just went nuts over that. As usual. It was annoying.

Well, someone could. But it would have been seen as ridiculous, mad. Then it happened, and there was a whole new definition of insanity for everyone to work out.

There she was though. Awash in the impossible. Still worrying over one man.

“This is Station WLXL, from Swan Tower in the heart of Metropolis, the Livewire show,” Leslie spoke into the microphone, a bit dully, “now streaming online. And we’re in day 5 of Superman being gone. As usual, Lex Luthor is hardest hit.”

She leaned back in her chair, idly tapping her pencil on the desk. She sighed under her breath.

“I mean, I bet he had a new killer robot all ready to fight Superman with. And now, all he can do is polish the chrome on it, over and over, and look wistfully over at a poster of the Blue Boy Scout. Maybe this time, _this time,_ Superman will notice him and finally love him.” She sighed and tapped her feet together.

“I mean, it’s not like the guy is any good at interpersonal relations. You see the way that Mercy Graves looks at him? She could show up nude and he’d just tell her to put on the latest anti-Superman armor for him. Now she knows how Harley Quinn feels about Joker.”

Leslie tossed her pencil up into the air. It fell, clattering onto the floor. Leslie rolled her eyes.

“If you call that love, please: Stop commenting in my stream. It’s creepy as fuck, and it means you probably don’t actually have any meaningful human interactions.”

She sighed, looking down for a bit. She was silent. Silent long enough that Lenny waved in the sound room. She cleared her throat.

“Anyway,” she began, “we have callers on the line. Caller, go, you’re on the air.”

“ _Hello, this is Martha from Smallville, Kansas,”_ said a kind, warm voice, “ _calling in for the first time-Hello Leslie!”_

Leslie blinked, thrown off briefly.

“Uh, hey,” she said, “listening from a long way away, huh?”

“ _Well, my son told me to tune in. He said you could be a bit colorful, but spoke honestly,”_ Martha said, “ _and I have to say I’m enjoying it. That Lex Luthor did try to expand into Smallville several years back. He was a charmer, I’ll give him that. But he always takes things too personally. Ego of his. I mean, men can ignore the love of a wonderful woman without having to be into men too.”_

“Something you’re familiar with, Martha?” Leslie asked, unable to hide her grin. Martha chuckled.

“ _Oh my yes. I’ve been married for over thirty years. You tend to recognize that men have their drives and goals. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do but let them be. Sometimes though, you have to step in and make sure they know this is a partnership, not a solo act.”_

“Marriage?” Leslie asked. “I was under the impression it was a contact sport. Very messy.”

“ _Sometimes, yes,”_ Martha said, with a smile in her voice, “ _it can be messy. But I was referring to life. Life is messy… But it’s always better when you can trust someone to be at your side. Lex Luthor… That man doesn’t seem to have anyone he can really trust at his side. Not really.”_

“Yeah, but him not getting to fight Superman with another giant robot is funnier,” Leslie replied. Martha laughed.

“ _Well, boys never like not being able to go out and play. My own boy hated rainy days.”_

Leslie nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’ll bet,” she said. “So, Luthor may not be gay, he may just be a gigantic man child who wants to show up the other kids at the playground?”

“ _At some point, a lot of us can be like that. Boy or girl, we like being the center of attention sometimes. It’s the ones who always have to be that who are the troublemakers,”_ Martha said.

Leslie hummed. “So, happy housewife from Smallville: Where do you think Superman is right now?”

There was a short but noticeable pause. Then:

“ _Wherever he is, he’s no doubt trying to get back home to us, as fast as possible,”_ Martha said, “ _and we need to trust that he’ll get back.”_

Leslie frowned, leaning up in her chair. “You believe that for everyone?” She asked.

Martha chuckled. “ _I believe that for my son, and he and Superman? They both know where home is. They always get back, sooner or later. Besides, all this drama over him being gone-again-is quite exhausting, isn’t it dear?”_

“It is part of how I make my living, Martha,” Leslie admitted. She saw Lenny waving frantically in the sound booth, and sighed. “But hey. We need to go to the next caller.”

“ _No problem,”_ Martha said cheerfully, “ _and don’t worry! He’ll be back before you know it!”_

“Who’s worried?” Leslie chuckled. “All right, next caller, you’re on the air!”

“ _Hey Leslie. Long time listener, first time call in,”_ said a familiar voice. Leslie’s jaw dropped, and she nearly fell out of her chair.

“Clark?!” She cried. At the looks of her crew from the sound booth, she blushed, and immediately calmed herself as Clark chuckled. “Ah, hey: Clark Kent, Daily Planet, right?”

“ _Right,”_ Clark said, “ _been a while huh?”_

“Uh, yeah,” Leslie snorted, “a while since _I_ saved you!”

“ _And Superman, I’m not forgetting that,”_ Clark said. Leslie smirked, getting back into character so to speak.

“Yeah, now if the memes about that would ever stop,” she said. “So! Been a while since you were around. You didn’t get kidnapped again, did you?”

A rough, gruff voice laughed in the background.

“ _Again, you geek? Oh man, that’s hilarious!”_

“And that is?” Leslie asked.

“ _Well, that is-”_ Clark tried, before the gruff voice interrupted.

“ _ **THIS**_ _is the Main Man, Lobo the Bounty Hunter! And I’m talking with these two geeks-Superman and Clark Kent! I kidnapped them-The latter one was an accident I’ll admit. Didn’t even know he’d stowed away! But hey, he’s going to make me look good!”_

_“A miracle worthy of Jesus,”_ Clark muttered. “ _Anyway, turns out Superman and Lobo were both kidnapped by an alien called the Preserver who collects the last of any species. I got caught up in it when he decided to stop by for something nearly extinct on Earth. Superman and Lobo managed to get free and defeat the Preserver, and now they’re bringing us home. With an alien zoo and a starship for scientists to all study.”_

Leslie gaped in disbelief. It seemed like the insanity of real life had just hit another level.

“... I bet Lois Lane is freaking the _fuck_ out right now.”

“ _I don’t dare to speculate,”_ Clark said, “ _anyway, we’ll be landing at S.T.A.R. Labs pretty soon. See you soon… Sooner if Lobo crashes this thing.”_

_“ **HEY! The Main Man is the best pilot in the universe! Bar none!”** Lobo shouted. “ **Also, your Earth photographers had better get my good side!”**_

“ _They will, they will,”_ Clark said, “ _we’re losing the satellite and-!”_

The call cut out. Leslie got up and grinned, She pulled her headphones off and tossed them aside.

“LENNY! Get the van! I’m _not_ letting Lane beat me to this one!”

She had a whole wardrobe of sexy cosplay to show him and have sex with him in!

\- - -

Aboard the Preserver’s ship, Superman looked over at Lobo as the Czarnian carefully piloted the ship. Well, ‘carefully’ being relative: The bounty hunter was still whacking the console and cursing a lot as the Earth became bigger in the viewscreen.

“Hey, listen,” Superman began, “thanks for helping me out there.”

Lobo grinned. “Well hey! The moment I learned you had an _actual_ girlfriend, the Bro Code kicked in! Bros before hos is a universal constant!”

Clark rubbed the back of his head. “Heh, well…”

“In fact, I won’t even try to steal her from ya,” Lobo said cheerfully. “Unless she’s that feisty one with the purple skirt.”

“Well, no,” Clark said. Lobo stared in disbelief.

“What?! You _ain’t_ hitting that?! Even I can see how much she’s into you! For now, anyway! Well then-!”

“She likes Superman,” Clark growled angrily, “but my girlfriend likes… My secret identity.”

Lobo stared at him. “So let me get this straight,” the Czarnian stated, “you have _two_ hotties after your dual identities?”

Clark sighed. “Yeah. I mean, it’s complicated but-”

Lobo laughed and slapped Clark on the back hard enough he was nearly bowled over.

“HAHAHA! You _are_ a man in there, Supes! I was worried for a second! You’re uptight, but damn if you aren’t impressing me!”

“Yeah, thanks,” Clark sighed. “Now, are you sure you can land this thing?”

“For you? Absolutely,” Lobo said. He held up a finger. “I just want one thing in exchange.”

Clark stared at Lobo.

“And that is?”

“How do you tie a tie and wear those glasses?” Lobo asked, “because I wanna try this whole ‘mild mannered’ thing for myself!”

Clark stared at him for even longer. He shrugged.

“All right.”

“YEAH! Just you wait, hotties of the universe! The Main Man is gonna be double the trouble from now on!”

“You sure are,” Clark muttered.

\- - -

_I'm hoping this is enough for this two part episode. I mean, Lobo's in it so I have to go over the top. But I didn't want to overdo it._


	9. The Main Man

\- - -

**THE MAIN MAN - PRELUDE**

The Daily Planet had been a fixture of Metropolis from the 1850s, capitalizing off of the then-recent discovery of Neptune to have a fresh and new newspaper title. It encapsulated the idea of progress, that the world was truly becoming connected thanks to the railway and the telegraph. It wasn’t until Metropolis’ debut of the skyscraper in the 1930s, nearly a century later, that the newspaper got its now iconic home on the corner of Shuster Ave and 1st Street in downtown. Complete with the huge globe statue atop it, that shone like a beacon across the City of Tomorrow.

It was impossible to miss, and despite her own cynicism Leslie still appreciated the art deco design of the skyscraper in the midst of so much soulless glass, steel and concrete. The old building was a survivor, and she appreciated it.

She hoped it could pass on a little of that to her via osmosis though, as she pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. The Bluetooth earbud glowing at the side of her head was the source of her irritation as she entered the main lobby.

“Lenny, I thought I made it fucking clear: _This is my day off,”_ Leslie hissed to the microphone stuck to the side of her jaw. She could imagine Lenny rubbing his hand over his badly disguised bald spot.

“ _You can still help me out here, Leslie! Come on! We need something for the gossip columns and-”_

“Other thing I thought I made _fucking clear:_ My personal life is _off limits,”_ Leslie growled. A little old lady sitting by the elevator gave her an affronted look, but Leslie ignored it as she hit the call button.

“ _That was before you actually had one,”_ Lenny responded. “ _I mean, a steady boyfriend? Girlfriend? They’re already speculating! You could at least tell me who it is!”_

Leslie scoffed.

“I don’t have to tell you shit!”

“ _But Leslie, babe,”_ Lenny insisted, “ _when you’re a celebrity you gotta use reputation! I mean, that interview with Superman and Lois is old news now!”_

“It was a month ago and our ratings are still as high as ever! Not to mention our views,” Leslie retorted. “We’re doing great!”

“ _But we can always be doing better!”_ Lenny insisted. “ _Come on! That incident at the restaurant got you some buzz but not as much as-”_

“That incident at the restaurant _fucking sucked,_ ” Leslie hissed, “and I’m not repeating it. I’m not a fucking Kardashian! I’m not going to turn my personal life into a circus!”

“ _But Leslie-Come on-Be reasonable!”_ Lenny insisted.

“Hey, know what’s reasonable?” Leslie asked cheerfully. She hung up, and blocked Lenny’s number.

“That. Asshole,” she muttered. The old woman was still staring at her. Leslie sucked in a deep breath, and let it out hard. She smoothed down the front of her dress, and gave the old lady a warm smile.

“Hey,” she said, rummaging in her basket, “you look like you could use a pick me up.” She handed the old lady a blue chrysanthemum, holding it out as an offering. The old lady hesitated, then took it. She sniffed it, and smiled. Leslie nodded to her.

The elevator chimed, and the doors finally opened. Leslie strode in, turning around. The old lady’s smile made hers a lot more genuine. That’s what she wanted to greet Clark with.

She made it to the offices near the top floor, only getting a few weird looks from a few employees as she walked between the numerous desks for all of the busy journalists. The large windows overhead gave a simply amazing view of the city skyline, and Leslie could see the logic in the design: No office? That’s fine, give everyone a window.

It also made eavesdropping a lot easier, as she approached the desk Clark was sitting at. There was Lane, standing in front of him as he typed, holding up a newspaper and complaining about something.

“I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town,” Lois said, looking annoyed but showing just a bit of respect. Leslie paused, as she saw Clark lean closer to Lois.

“Well, Lois, the truth is, I'm actually Superman in disguise and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen, and then squeeze you out of the byline,” he replied. He leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on his desk with a very sexy, smug smile.

Lois was silent for a moment, then smirked back.

“You're a sick man, Kent,” she stated, turning and heading to her own desk. Clark shrugged.

“You asked,” he chuckled.

_Okay. That was kind of hot,_ Leslie thought. Outwardly, she maintained her character as she approached Clark’s desk. She cleared her throat and smiled warmly, putting her hands around her flower basket as Clark looked up at her.

“Excuse me Mister Kent,” she said in a gentle, warm tone, “I’m Aerith Gainsborough. We met when you did that story on the Suicide Slum Midgar Church?”

Lois immediately raised an eyebrow. Clark stared for a second, and then recognition flashed in his eyes.

“I’ve never heard of a Midgar Church in Suicide Slum,” Lois said slowly, eyes narrowed. Leslie shrugged, still conveying that warm, gentle smile like the sun.

“It’s gone through a few different names, but Mister Kent really helped us out,” she said. She gave Clark a warmer smile, with just the right amount of mischief in her gaze. “I was hoping to thank Mister Kent personally? His article has increased our donations by almost double!”

“Uh, certainly,” Clark said. He stood up and smiled at her. “I don’t need any thanks-”

Leslie wrapped her arms around his bicep, and beamed sweetly up at him.

“Oh, but I insist!” She giggled. “You might also help us by doing another story?”

“Well,” Clark began, glancing back at Lois and then back at Leslie, “I’m sure we can work out the details.”

“Superman, huh?” Lois deadpanned. Clark shrugged, and immediately began guiding Leslie away from the desks towards one of the utility rooms on the other side of the main floor.

“He helps all kinds,” Clark replied, smirking just a bit. Leslie hid her own, until they finally got into a deserted conference room. He shut the door, and turned around with one eyebrow firmly raised above his glasses.

“Leslie… Why are you visiting me dressed as Aerith Gainsborough?” He asked, extremely bemused. Leslie hummed and pushed up against him with a broad smile.

“What? I can’t just visit my boyfriend on my day off?” She asked. Clark scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“I mean… I don’t mind but-Is that what we are now?” He asked. Leslie put her hands on her hips, pulling back just a bit.

“Well, I did make you soup and you rocked my world,” she said, “I think that fits the basic definition.”

Clark nodded, smiling a bit wryly.

“Fair enough,” he said. He looked her up and down, and he whistled softly. “Now that’s impressive.”

“I think I might stick with it for a few conventions,” she said, “but I wanted your opinion first.” She spun around, pirouetting with some difficulty in her hiking boots.

“How do I look?” Leslie asked. Clark beamed.

“Like the kind of person I’d save the world for, over and over,” he said. Leslie giggled, and hugged him tightly.

“That’s just what I was going for,” she said happily. She looked up at him with a smirk.

So,” Leslie began, “you feel like playing hooky for the rest of the day? Doing some Chocobo riding?”

Clark sighed, and hugged her back tightly.

“I’d love to. Honestly, I would,” Clark said, “but I’m on a deadline with Perry over a story about Lexcorp and I can’t afford to drop it now.”

“Oh,” Leslie said with a nod, “I see.”

Clark immediately looked concerned, “I am really sorry, Leslie,” he said. Leslie sighed and turned away, looking out the window and going for as soulful a look as possible. It must have been working since Clark looked even guiltier.

“I understand,” she said, “your job is important. You being so committed to it is one of the reasons I care about you.”

Clark nodded back slowly.

“I’m glad you see it that way,” Clark replied. He was about to turn away, but Leslie caught his arm and pulled him into another tight embrace. She looked up at him with a broad, happy smile.

“Which means we should make the most of the time we have,” she said, running her hands up and down his sides. Clark’s eyes widened.

“Uh, Leslie, I don’t think I-”

“Are you saying, Clark Kent,” Leslie began, rubbing a circle into Clark’s firm chest with her finger, “that when your girlfriend dresses up in hot cosplay to visit you at work and offers to let you do _anything_ you want to her in this empty conference room, you’ll say no?”

Clark’s jaw dropped. Leslie’s smirk widened even more, as she nuzzled his chest.

“I… That is-”

“I’m not hearing a no~,” Leslie purred. She looked up at him. “Come on Smallville. We have to be quick, but I’m sure you can do just fine. Enough to make us both happy, hm?”

“I…” Clark gulped. Leslie smirked. Clark finally smirked back.

“I’m willing to find out,” he growled.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Leslie said with a beam.

\- - -

Twenty minutes later, Clark emerged from the conference room, adjusting his tie and wearing a much more relaxed smile. He walked towards his desk, only to notice that Lois was not at hers. Jimmy Olsen was though, checking his phone.

“What’s up Jimmy?” Clark asked. Jimmy looked up at the reporter and grinned.

“Oh man, you will not believe this,” Jimmy said, holding up his phone. “Some space biker just smashed into a police precinct a few blocks away and started shooting up the place! Man, is this the weirdest viral marketing campaign or what?”

Clark’s eyes widened. “And Lois went to go cover it?” He asked. Jimmy nodded, glancing back at his phone.

“I wanted to get you, but she was determined not to get scooped by you again,” he said. He looked back at Clark. “I guess this means she’ll get the story-Huh?”

Clark was long gone. Jimmy blinked a few times. He shrugged.

“Okay, I guess maybe she won’t,” he muttered. He looked back at his phone, then felt a hand tap his shoulder. He looked up and gawked.

“Huh?! Aerith?!”

The woman beamed at him, even as she leaned heavily on a nearby desk. “Hey,” she said, “mind helping me downstairs? I’ve called an Uber but I’m gonna have some trouble getting down.”

“Uh… Sure miss?” Jimmy said. He let the woman lean against him as they made their way for the elevators. “What were you doing here?”

“I needed to chat with Mister Kent about a few things,” she said with a happy sigh, “and we resolved it all…” Here she purred, “ _very nicely.”_

Jimmy may have been a teenager, but he wasn’t stupid. Or at least as stupid as most people thought. Some hot cosplayer visiting Clark and emerging from a room after almost half an hour alone?

“Did you invite him to cosplay with you?” Jimmy asked. The woman laughed.

“Something like that, sweet summer child…”

"Awesome," Jimmy said, as he got her to the elevator, "the guy needs to get out more. All I ever see him doing is work, work, work..."

\- - -

**THE MAIN MAN: Aftermath**

After that… A week of nothing. She’d seen the videos. She’d seen the damage. She’d made commentary:

A crazy alien biker attacking Superman? That was news. That was something to stream. It was a new chapter in the insanity that was now real life. Another thing for endless commentary and rewriting of the books of science, philosophy, and everything else.

Once again, Superman vanished. The world just went nuts over that. As usual. It was annoying.

Well, someone could. But it would have been seen as ridiculous, mad. Then it happened, and there was a whole new definition of insanity for everyone to work out.

There she was though. Awash in the impossible. Still worrying over one man.

“This is Station WLXL, from Swan Tower in the heart of Metropolis, the Livewire show,” Leslie spoke into the microphone, a bit dully, “now streaming online. And we’re in day 5 of Superman being gone. As usual, Lex Luthor is hardest hit.”

She leaned back in her chair, idly tapping her pencil on the desk. She sighed under her breath.

“I mean, I bet he had a new killer robot all ready to fight Superman with. And now, all he can do is polish the chrome on it, over and over, and look wistfully over at a poster of the Blue Boy Scout. Maybe this time, _this time,_ Superman will notice him and finally love him.” She sighed and tapped her feet together.

“I mean, it’s not like the guy is any good at interpersonal relations. You see the way that Mercy Graves looks at him? She could show up nude and he’d just tell her to put on the latest anti-Superman armor for him. Now she knows how Harley Quinn feels about Joker.”

Leslie tossed her pencil up into the air. It fell, clattering onto the floor. Leslie rolled her eyes.

“If you call that love, please: Stop commenting in my stream. It’s creepy as fuck, and it means you probably don’t actually have any meaningful human interactions.”

She sighed, looking down for a bit. She was silent. Silent long enough that Lenny waved in the sound room. She cleared her throat.

“Anyway,” she began, “we have callers on the line. Caller, go, you’re on the air.”

“ _Hello, this is Martha from Smallville, Kansas,”_ said a kind, warm voice, “ _calling in for the first time-Hello Leslie!”_

Leslie blinked, thrown off briefly.

“Uh, hey,” she said, “listening from a long way away, huh?”

“ _Well, my son told me to tune in. He said you could be a bit colorful, but spoke honestly,”_ Martha said, “ _and I have to say I’m enjoying it. That Lex Luthor did try to expand into Smallville several years back. He was a charmer, I’ll give him that. But he always takes things too personally. Ego of his. I mean, men can ignore the love of a wonderful woman without having to be into men too.”_

“Something you’re familiar with, Martha?” Leslie asked, unable to hide her grin. Martha chuckled.

“ _Oh my yes. I’ve been married for over thirty years. You tend to recognize that men have their drives and goals. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do but let them be. Sometimes though, you have to step in and make sure they know this is a partnership, not a solo act.”_

“Marriage?” Leslie asked. “I was under the impression it was a contact sport. Very messy.”

“ _Sometimes, yes,”_ Martha said, with a smile in her voice, “ _it can be messy. But I was referring to life. Life is messy… But it’s always better when you can trust someone to be at your side. Lex Luthor… That man doesn’t seem to have anyone he can really trust at his side. Not really.”_

“Yeah, but him not getting to fight Superman with another giant robot is funnier,” Leslie replied. Martha laughed.

“ _Well, boys never like not being able to go out and play. My own boy hated rainy days.”_

Leslie nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’ll bet,” she said. “So, Luthor may not be gay, he may just be a gigantic man child who wants to show up the other kids at the playground?”

“ _At some point, a lot of us can be like that. Boy or girl, we like being the center of attention sometimes. It’s the ones who always have to be that who are the troublemakers,”_ Martha said.

Leslie hummed. “So, happy housewife from Smallville: Where do you think Superman is right now?”

There was a short but noticeable pause. Then:

“ _Wherever he is, he’s no doubt trying to get back home to us, as fast as possible,”_ Martha said, “ _and we need to trust that he’ll get back.”_

Leslie frowned, leaning up in her chair. “You believe that for everyone?” She asked.

Martha chuckled. “ _I believe that for my son, and he and Superman? They both know where home is. They always get back, sooner or later. Besides, all this drama over him being gone-again-is quite exhausting, isn’t it dear?”_

“It is part of how I make my living, Martha,” Leslie admitted. She saw Lenny waving frantically in the sound booth, and sighed. “But hey. We need to go to the next caller.”

“ _No problem,”_ Martha said cheerfully, “ _and don’t worry! He’ll be back before you know it!”_

“Who’s worried?” Leslie chuckled. “All right, next caller, you’re on the air!”

“ _Hey Leslie. Long time listener, first time call in,”_ said a familiar voice. Leslie’s jaw dropped, and she nearly fell out of her chair.

“Clark?!” She cried. At the looks of her crew from the sound booth, she blushed, and immediately calmed herself as Clark chuckled. “Ah, hey: Clark Kent, Daily Planet, right?”

“ _Right,”_ Clark said, “ _been a while huh?”_

“Uh, yeah,” Leslie snorted, “a while since _I_ saved you!”

“ _And Superman, I’m not forgetting that,”_ Clark said. Leslie smirked, getting back into character so to speak.

“Yeah, now if the memes about that would ever stop,” she said. “So! Been a while since you were around. You didn’t get kidnapped again, did you?”

A rough, gruff voice laughed in the background.

“ _Again, you geek? Oh man, that’s hilarious!”_

“And that is?” Leslie asked.

“ _Well, that is-”_ Clark tried, before the gruff voice interrupted.

“ _ **THIS**_ _is the Main Man, Lobo the Bounty Hunter! And I’m talking with these two geeks-Superman and Clark Kent! I kidnapped them-The latter one was an accident I’ll admit. Didn’t even know he’d stowed away! But hey, he’s going to make me look good!”_

_“A miracle worthy of Jesus,”_ Clark muttered. “ _Anyway, turns out Superman and Lobo were both kidnapped by an alien called the Preserver who collects the last of any species. I got caught up in it when he decided to stop by for something nearly extinct on Earth. Superman and Lobo managed to get free and defeat the Preserver, and now they’re bringing us home. With an alien zoo and a starship for scientists to all study.”_

Leslie gaped in disbelief. It seemed like the insanity of real life had just hit another level.

“... I bet Lois Lane is freaking the _fuck_ out right now.”

“ _I don’t dare to speculate,”_ Clark said, “ _anyway, we’ll be landing at S.T.A.R. Labs pretty soon. See you soon… Sooner if Lobo crashes this thing.”_

_“ **HEY! The Main Man is the best pilot in the universe! Bar none!”** Lobo shouted. “ **Also, your Earth photographers had better get my good side!”**_

“ _They will, they will,”_ Clark said, “ _we’re losing the satellite and-!”_

The call cut out. Leslie got up and grinned, She pulled her headphones off and tossed them aside.

“LENNY! Get the van! I’m _not_ letting Lane beat me to this one!”

She had a whole wardrobe of sexy cosplay to show him and have sex with him in!

\- - -

Aboard the Preserver’s ship, Superman looked over at Lobo as the Czarnian carefully piloted the ship. Well, ‘carefully’ being relative: The bounty hunter was still whacking the console and cursing a lot as the Earth became bigger in the viewscreen.

“Hey, listen,” Superman began, “thanks for helping me out there.”

Lobo grinned. “Well hey! The moment I learned you had an _actual_ girlfriend, the Bro Code kicked in! Bros before hos is a universal constant!”

Clark rubbed the back of his head. “Heh, well…”

“In fact, I won’t even try to steal her from ya,” Lobo said cheerfully. “Unless she’s that feisty one with the purple skirt.”

“Well, no,” Clark said. Lobo stared in disbelief.

“What?! You _ain’t_ hitting that?! Even I can see how much she’s into you! For now, anyway! Well then-!”

“She likes Superman,” Clark growled angrily, “but my girlfriend likes… My secret identity.”

Lobo stared at him. “So let me get this straight,” the Czarnian stated, “you have _two_ hotties after your dual identities?”

Clark sighed. “Yeah. I mean, it’s complicated but-”

Lobo laughed and slapped Clark on the back hard enough he was nearly bowled over.

“HAHAHA! You _are_ a man in there, Supes! I was worried for a second! You’re uptight, but damn if you aren’t impressing me!”

“Yeah, thanks,” Clark sighed. “Now, are you sure you can land this thing?”

“For you? Absolutely,” Lobo said. He held up a finger. “I just want one thing in exchange.”

Clark stared at Lobo.

“And that is?”

“How do you tie a tie and wear those glasses?” Lobo asked, “because I wanna try this whole ‘mild mannered’ thing for myself!”

Clark stared at him for even longer. He shrugged.

“All right.”

“YEAH! Just you wait, hotties of the universe! The Main Man is gonna be double the trouble from now on!”

“You sure are,” Clark muttered.

\- - -

_I'm hoping this is enough for this two part episode. I mean, Lobo's in it so I have to go over the top. But I didn't want to overdo it._


End file.
